Meh. You win some...you win some.

Been awhile since I've last posted. Been a long couple weeks.  Lots of shift coverage, I got The Plague for a few days, went to the doc with some odd & persistent back pain, experienced my first (and really I do hope my last) MRI & are still waiting to see why it feels like someone is stabbing me. That kinda sucks. BUT the sun has been shining, Pittsburgh wasn't washed away in a flood & I have seen more green popping out of the earth.  Spring. Sincerely my most favoritest time of the year.  Almost time to take the roof off the Jeep...and for that day I'm already excited!

So decided to walk away from the partnership agreement today. I am feeling really good about it.  Its been a few weeks and after quite a few frustrating meetings & exchanges I was having more doubts than anything else.  She wanted the agreement changed to a larger percentage and more power as a managing partner and while initially I was willing to negotiate she pissed me off last night with an email.  So I did something very uncharacteristic of me...I waited. I got said email in the middle of a beer dinner I was cooking for.  Read it and got really irritated.  When I got done a flew home & after taking the Queen & Princess Puppy Butt out for a walk and some dinner sat down and wrote out a long & honestly pretty severe email laying out in no uncertain terms exactly how I felt about our progress and things of that ilk.  I hadn't decided if I was going to send it or not, but in talking to RK I listened to myself and realized that I did not want to do this.  The only reason I had been willing to compromise was because I wanted that damn almighty check. And ya know what...money isn't enough. Money I can get, money is out there, money is easy compared to a good idea and the work & time involved with developing and making that idea into a real live thing. This was the 5th or 6th situation that had occurred with her that made me cringe because of how she dealt with it.  I am leaving my current job to get AWAY from this bullshit, I sure as fuck have no intention of deliberately and legally binding myself to a new level of bullshit. The amount of training that she was going to require was unreal and her cash contribution not enough to make it worth it.  I also got a very strong vibe off of her that she really had no fucking idea how HARD it is to work in a restaurant for a living. It is an honest living, it is exciting and fun...but it is hard. I just the vibe that 3 months into it when her manicure was fucked beyond repair, she was working too much to be able to go get a mani/pedi to fix the damage, her back & feet aching from a lot of running a restaurant and 3 months of not having her Saturdays to go shop that she'd fold on me.  Granted that could be a blessing or a curse, but it kinda feels like agreeing to marry someone only because you know you can always get a divorce when it all turns to shit. Whats the fucking point?

So I deleted the email i angrily typed. I started a new one.  I basically spelled it all out, I wasnt confident shed be able to do this, I was not willing to give her a higher percentage that the one her cash contribution gave her in that she brings nothing else to the table, there was no way I could comfortably allow her to be a managing partner with her lack of experience and our not having enough knowledge of each other as individuals for me to understand how she makes decisions. She had made a few through the last couple weeks that just made me shake my head they were so stupid in my opinion so not a whole lot of confidence building there.  I was honest, but not aggressive or bitchy, just straightforward and to the point. I really dont know any other way to be. I even sent it out to Mister, RK & and my voice of reason, I will call her Nudge cuz thats why I love her, just to read before I sent it and make sure that i wasnt being too much...me I guess? And was assured that i made my points without attacking and spoke honestly.  That was all I was after. So late afternoon I sent it. This is me...walking away from a nice chunk of change but feeling ok about it.

She emailed me back within the hour, rescinding her investment offer, telling me that I obviously am not interested in building a future with a partner that I need to be a sole proprietor. She may be right, she may be wrong, but I can say for certain that this partnership was not meant to be. She made the comment it was an unbalanced agreement. Well yes, my dear, it is. Its also an amazingly unbalanced partnership...the agreement should match. I sincerely think this is what is best for all parties involved. I think she would have ended up hating me...Im not terribly tolerant of people not pulling their weight.

So lessons learned and all that bullshit, and back to the proverbial drawing board as far as finding some money but I really do think that I won here. There is something to be said for knowing that you really cant be bought all that easily and that you are capable of making a grown up decision...and it didnt even hurt!