So I had originally planned to do a post today about my really not all that miserable first week without Mister at work with me. I prob still will do that post because it's been writing itself in my head for the last couple days and needs to be let out....but THEN The Wizard walks into my office this morning and drops what he thinks is going to be some earth shattering BOMB and it took everything I had NOT to laugh and smile & squeee and I decided this needed to be written instead.
So our company Heath Insurance (HI) rates were scheduled to increase. Yeah - HUGE shock I know...like it doesnt happen every friggin year. And The Wizard wasnt happy about that for obvious reasons, it was something like a 48% rate hike. I agree, RECOCKULOUS, but on the incentive program he offers I dont pay for dick outside of my deductibles & copays so in all honesty I dont give a shit HOW much the rates increase - but therein lies the issue, there are quite a few of us that arent paying for dick which means hes stuck with all of it unless he plans on changing the incentive policy for HI which would cause a jihad I have nooo doubt - I would be leading it. So The Wizard shopped for options with this flake of a woman that he uses for our HI brokering, I will call her Twitball - cuz she is one.
So Twitball tells The Wizard she can get HI at half what we would be paying, +/- 10% once they review the actual policy. The Wizard is all over this. He drafts horridly misspelled letters to all the managers explaining the rate hike and placing it to a vote - we can vote for Option A - keep our really good HI and pay a portion of the premium out of our pockets with no changes to the policy or deductible or Option B go with the lesser policy at the cheaper premium and continue the incentive program. Majority wins. Well shocker!! The staff opted to go with Option B. I, personally wasnt real happy about that, but I understand it from their perspective and if thats what they want, fine, I can deal with it. Note to readers: I have had a manager going through cancer treatments for the last year - The Wizard obviously knows this, and he also knows our rates will be based on the last years claims. To think that we could EVER get sincerely cheap insurance coverage is naive & stupid.
Well Twitball gets out the forms, gets the policy written, sets appointments to go to all the restaurants and talk to the managers this last Saturday about the changes in their coverage and make sure they are cool with the switch that takes place May 1st....2 weeks away. We are all set to roll on the Shitty Health Insurance Express!!! All aboard for crap doctor choices & bottom of the barrel medical care woohoo!!! <--- this is me being very very sarcastic.
So Friday night, like after 8pm Twittball calls The Wizard to tell him that golly gee Wizard the price they quoted was slightly off base...the actual price is 150% higher than the cheapo quote...........yeah so much for +/- 10% huh? Well that actual price was actually HIGHER than the one for the really good insurance....hehehehe! So aside from The Wizard having a minor seizure when Twitball told him she done fucked up (again mind you, we have gone through this with Twitball annually for 4 years now) he made her cancel her appointments to go talk to the store managers and told her he was very disappointed that she led him to believe that this was going to be 60% less than out current insurer option when she really didnt know one way or the other and for waiting until the last possible minute to try to get this all worked out. Well duh Wizard - why do you think she waits - shes incompetent and needs to leave you no other options due to time contraints.
So I guess while he was standing in my doorway in all his Wizardly glory telling me with righteous indignation how upset he is that he now has to be a "man of his word" and cant go back on what he agreed to with his people and he now has an obligation to make good on what he said so he just simply CANT ask us to pay into it now that he was expecting some sympathy? And I guess when he was asking me if I thought it would be ok to increase our deductible to get that premium lowered that he thought I was going to say something along the lines of "well yeah boss if thats whats best for the company" so he may have been slightly taken aback by my "um actually boss I really dont think thats right, its not our fault you got screwed over by Twitball...again" comment instead.
So Im an asshole for gleaming a small amount of joy out of his obvious torture having to fork out so much in benefits for us managers...and I'm also an asshole because I could have hugged him I was so happy to not have to take the crap insurance he was going to switch us to...and yeah Im kind of an asshole too because I LOVE that he continues to deal with Twitball and continues to get screwed over for our health insurance coverage EVERY YEAR. So yeah, it may be kind of wrong of me to be happy about the company having to fork over this much more money for benefits, but in all honesty it couldnt have happened to a nicer prick...and THAT, my dear friends, is why I'm an asshole.
But I'm an asshole that STILL has really good health insurance that Im not having to pay for!
You? Crack me up.
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