**Blows the Dust Off Her Blog**

Well hello there the few of you that may still adventure over here to my little corner of the internets! Its been awhile. Too long really. I could make a bunch of excuses, but really whats the point? Bottom line...I havent been writing. Its not for lack of things to say, more lack of time or desire to do it.

So whats new...

I quit smoking...again. This time I went ahead and got the drugs. Zyban to be more specific.  As much as I hate to admit it...its worked. As of this morning I am 9 days smoke-free. I havent cheated even once.  The majority of the issues I have had with quitting have not been physically driven this time, they have all been in my head. The end of last week I was wrestling with the WANT to smoke. Not need. Not going to kill someone if I dont get my precious nicotine. Just the very simple I WANT one. Thankfully at those moments of indecision and/or weakness I have been at home where there is no one to enable me at all so I didnt give in to it. I really do feel like this time I am really done with it.

To any smokers out there looking to quit I would definitely recommend giving Zyban a try. It has less severe side effects than Chantix, is covered by most health plans in that it is technically an anti-depressant and honestly worked - at least for me. I started taking it on a Saturday, I smoked for the first week, until the following Sunday morning when I had my last cigarette at 10am. It is odd. Every other time I have tried to quit unassisted smoking becomes an obsession. Every though is punctuated by "I want a smoke". Its like being poked in the forehead with a pencil. I had no tolerance for that...obviously...because I was never successful. The difference with the drug - I dont think about it. It turns off the doohickies in my melon that crave the nicotine - seriously, it just shuts them the fuck up totally. It then becomes just me breaking the habits. The in the car cigarette, the after food cigarette, the I dont want to look at this computer for another minute cigarette, the holy shit that person just pissed me off cigarette...you get the point. All that's left is the WANT. I can control the want. There are a lot of things I want, doesnt mean I get them all.

So with this non-smoking comes the diet & exercise thing too. I signed up for a CSA so I can have fresh veggies delivered to my house once a week to inspire healthier cooking at home, going to get out and play more. I dont care if I'm ever skinny, I came to terms with not being a beanpole decades ago, but I would like to be healthier. As would the Mister...so mission You're In Your Mid-Thirties & Cant Continue to Treat Your Body Like You're In Your Twenties (YIYMTCCTYBLYIYT for short ;-P) is underway. I cant call it a diet though, if I were to do that I would be forced by the demons in my head to go out and devour gallons of Hagen Daas and pounds of chocolate.

Lots more going on, as usual, but I'll save those things for the other posts I plan to start writing more frequently. Ive still been running my restaurants, playing in my kitchen, redoing parts of my house, starting all my gardening for the spring, playing with my puppies & living. Hope you all have been doing the same!

Cheers!!