Alright so yeah, I have a job. Its not a job that I particularly like, but its one Ive had for a pretty long time~a smidgen under 10 years, and its one that I used to love...about 4 years ago. I do not love said job any more. For obvious reasons I dont intend to go into specifics, but generally speaking I spend most of my days trying to appear busy while I extinguish fires that my ever so adoring employees set and trying to stay out of the line of fire of my boss, who I will call Capt Chaos. Capt Chaos is a very successful business man in spite of himself, has a really bad penny smart/dollar stupid philosophy that I dont really get and that seems to be getting worse as he ages and has a major micromanagement issue that seems to grow exponentially with each place we open. Toss those 3 biggies in the proverbial pot with a slew of other bullshit, my complete lack of desire to be running all of the HR crap for this business and a general dislike for his "Corporate Philosophy" of fuck the people who have made you what you are and I guess I am what you would call a disgruntled employee. But dont worry folks....I, for very good reasons, do not own a firearm so the world will be safe for another day. Well at least from me, anyway. I could probably go on for pages here about the dumb shit Capt Chaos has done and will be doing, but Ill be honest- Im not really interested in it anymore and cant imagine you would be either. Suffice it to say that hes a big giant douche - and his general douchebaggery will more than likely be his demise.
So its taken me a long time to get here. I naively believed that eventually he would see the light of logic, that the things that seem to be such common sense to me and my coworkers would eventually become common sense to him as well...that I, being the mouthy & opinionated bitch that I am, could show him that my way is better, for his employees & his bottom line. Yeah, then the dream ended and I woke up and realized a few things 1) He's male (strike one). I love men, but have come to realize they are mostly blockheads and that silly male ego is a definite hindrance to logic and common sense in alot of areas. 2) He is successful in spite of his idiotic business practices (strike 2) hence he will see no reason to change anything. Until someone takes an ax to his wallet he isnt going to hear shit from me or anyone else. 3) His ego has reached such epic levels he really feels that he cant be hurt by anyone or anything, has no competition and is just the shit (a big fat strike 3). and 4) I dont really care either way. Yes I was a major factor in building this little mini-empire we have going on here, but its still not MINE and I dont care enough about him to loose any more sleep over his stupidity (and im OUT!). These were all little epiphanies ive had over the last year...the most freeing one was that I DONT CARE. Even saying it now makes me feel good.
Now all of this is a huge double edge sword. I helped build this, I sincerely did. I have bled, cried, sweat, screamed, almost lost my marriage to, laughed & lived these places for almost a decade. My team is hand picked by me and keep showing up because I do, I have busted my ass to keep his shit going....and I can honestly say that even after all that - I really dont see a reason to keep pounding away at it. I wish Capt Chaos nothing but success, but I have reached my limit with compromising what I believe to be important and killing myself to make him more successful. My final straw comes in the form of a new location to be opening soon while my current staff is in month 16 of a wage freeze. Apparently he needs me to be a heartless corporate bitch...i just dont have it in me. Im a bitch because I feel things strongly, I have passion and believe in what I say - not because i have no heart and can coldly tell people i consider to be family to bend over and take it up the ass just a little further... Money has never been a huge motivator for me, I do what I do because I love it. If money was my main motivator I definitely wouldnt be a chef, Id be something less fun & more tedious im sure, but money seems to be his ONLY priority, and that just not what Im all about. When the bottom line is more important than the people who help achieve it I firmly believe you are in need of a serious priority adjustment, and after years of trying I realize that some people are just plain stupid --->Capt Chaos.
All that being said, and Im certain bits & pieces of more bullshit will be dragged out eventually, Im pretty proud of me for figuring it all out and STILL having a brain to move forward. As I see it I have a multitude of options- I just need to figure out what they are. The very idea of having to go run someone elses kitchen again just makes me sick to my stomach. Capt Chaos is a known idiot. I have no desire to hop from this moron into the kitchen of a potentially bigger idiot - and the likelihood of that happening is pretty damn good ~ this industry is FULL of amazingly stupid owners with no common sense or soul. Im qualified to do just about any job in a restaurant or bar - but I dont really want to do that either - again known idiot as opposed to unknown moron. Then it hit me...I DONT HAVE TO WORK FOR ANY OTHER MORON BUT ME!!!! As long as I can find the money....
Enter in my pretty big deal for a Tuesday (see i got there eventually :-).... I just emailed my attorney the answers to the questions she needs so she can draft up a partnership agreement for me & this fabulous woman I recently met who wants to give me some cash to do my own thang in exchange for being allowed to hop on the for the ride. Its not ALL the money I need to open up Mindy's (yes, its named after me cuz well...a vote was taken & that was the decidedly the best idea even if the concept made me blush - which is HARD to make happen), but its enough to give me a major leg up with the banks when I go to get the rest of it with my business plan in hand.
I feel about a gazillion things right now....
FANFUCKINGTASTIC is at the very very very top of that list ;-)
good name :) and good luck!
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