Day #1 - The Bitch is a Lil Bit Bitchier :-)

So at this point I have officially completed the first 24 hours of being smoke free. Honestly I think I am handling it pretty ok.  I can honestly say that as of yet I have not felt any ZOMG GIVE ME NICOTINE BEFORE I BREAK YOU moments and the hardest parts have been the habit breaks - like getting in the car to go to work, after I ate lunch today and when some of the guys I work with went out to go BS & have a smoke.  This is actually pretty consistent with the other 42 times Ive tried. Ive heard people say that they have these awful nicotine cravings...but I dont know that I ever really did.  Cigarettes are the BEST excuse ever to take 5 in a restaurant ~ you dont smoke you dont get a break. Either way I havent cheated yet, havent really had the urge to and I think I inspired the main smoker I work with to quit with me meaning my office will not have any smokers that I can bumm one off of and that is SWEET!

So the cravings might not be all that bad...but the overly aggressive I am going to tell you off whether you like it or not and you better damn well stand there and take it because if you werent so stupid in the first place I wouldnt be this annoyed so this is all your fault moments....yeah Ive had a couple of them. They are like a more extreme version of PMS. The reasonable person in my head is all "whoa woman, you need to chill out, annoyed & bitching is one thing...scaring the person you are talking to is another" but then the raging bitch in my brain beat up Miss Reasonable, hog tied her and threw her in the back until the I Wanna Smoke Monster has vacated the premise.  Honestly I think Miss Raging Bitch actually is just enjoying being let off her leash a little bit and is taking advantage...and I have been somewhat selective with my victims because some deserve my wrath more than others.  Fortunately I am not really known as being warm & fuzzy with most people, so my being a tad more aggressive will be noted, but not in any extreme way so theres always that.

And its snowing today! This will help bolster some Christmas cheer...just havent been feeling it yet.  We have Christmas dinner at my house every year so I have to do some decorating and such, but I think Im going to keep it somewhat low key this year. The holiday for me is less about driving myself insane trying to make sure its the absolutely most perfectest Christmas ever and my world drips in lights & tinsel...its more about getting to spend time with my family & friends over good food & drinks. I do have to start my baking though soon; or at the very least start to make up the list of what I plan to be baking. last year I made in the month of December 3460 cookies (not a made up number!) and this year we have added a new restaurant with a ginormous staff so that means more baking to do.  I definitely cant afford to buy each of my employees a gift, but I make up huge platter of cookies for them to munch on the days leading up to Christmas as a thanks.

I havent even begun shopping, but I really dont have all that much to buy and will do 99% of it on line. I despise malls and shopping and crowds...i adore the interwebs and free shipping!!

Tonight though it is going to be cookiecity at my moms. My nephew needs 48 cookies for the afterparty for his performance recital on Saturday and since I'm not attending (its another Jebus Play and he hasnt asked for me to be there) he has requested that I make him his most favorite cut out cookies and help decorate them so he can take them with him. I also FINALLY get to go through my Grandmothers Fenton Glass collection that she has been building since she got married in 1942 or so tonight with Mom.  There are a few pieces that Gram insists that I have and a bunch of others my Mom thinks I will want and Im excited.  I have been itching to go through this stuff because I adore some of her pieces and cant wait to check them out.

Im sincerely looking forward to the near future when all of my thoughts arent punctuated by "smoke break"...but i feel like Im doing ok and am not going to slay any dragons before i get there.....

Related: I would give my left arm for some Peanut Butter M&Ms right about now :-)