So its Day #2. This is the day that everyone has told me would be the worst. If thats true then it should be all down hill from here. Think it helped immensely that I was busy as hell at work all day...but thats the case most days so that should continue to be helpful. Havent had any major headaches that werent caused by a human or anything else. I can still tell in my own head that Im edgier than normal, but it is what it is. Still havent cheated even though I have been more than tempted by all the co-workers that have delicious cigarettes all around me, but I have adopted the "these idiots are NOT going to knock me off this wagon" mentality that seems to be working. Still taking it one day at a time and thats about all I can do. I can tell you that I am very sincerely anticipating the day that the smell of cigarette smoke will repulse me...so anytime that side effect would like to show up I would be most appreciative.
Got home last night and was thinking about bailing on the visit to Mom's but decided that sitting here all obsessing about how bad I want a smoke was a BAD idea and went. Didnt dig through the Fenton but had a great time making cookies with my nephews and trashing my mom's kitchen. Got me thinking on my holiday baking so that will be starting soon.
So I had a little back and forth about the holiday season with some Twitter friends today and it does make me feel better that I am definitely not the only one who is just not feeling the holiday love this year. This isnt uncommon for me - I in essence work in retail. NO ONE who works in retail loves the holiday season...you'd be a sadistic fuck if you did. But in my travels today I reflected on some things that were said by a Christmas Zealot that I follow. He's an interesting fellow that I find I rarely agree with on most things but thats what makes life interesting, right? Bottom line his argument for all of us Bah XMas folks to just relax and enjoy it, its only a month, whats the big deal just get over it and enjoy yourself. I get where hes coming from...hes been dry humping Christmas since Halloween and obviously is much more into it that I am and that cool, but I disagree with a lot of it. I especially found his speeches funny because this person who is all about ramming holiday cheer down all of our throats has also had his fair share of pouting & whining like a 5 year old when plans hes tried to make to help him live out this ridiculous ideal about the serenity of his Perfect Holiday Season falls through because hes living this ideal outside the realm of reality and is then just dumbfounded when real life interferes with his dream of Normal Rockwell Christmas. The hypocrisy of his "spread the love and all of us be happy" message is complete tossed out the window when he doesnt get his way...and me having the dark sense of humor I have finds that LaughOutLoud funny.
Its not just a month. The holiday bullshit has been on display, on my TV and generally infiltrating my existence since 2 weeks before Halloween. That makes it what...over 2 months plus of BUY BUY BUY, Norman Rockwell ideals of holiday perfection, warm fuzzies and sentimental bullshit being rammed into my consciousness for MONTHS. Thats just too much. It actually makes me want to buy less rather than more, it makes me want to dodge the retail and commercial aspects of the holidays entirely and just ignore that its coming. Its the entire retail industry's fault. There need and desire to make the holiday shopping season a quarter of the year ruins it for me. Yeah I get that they want the sales revenue - but they have taken what was when I was growing up a holiday that was less about spending a gajillion dollars buying a bunch of shit we dont need and was more about time with family & friends, taking time to celebrate being together and just taking the time to appreciate what you have and share it with others.
Black Friday crap sickened me this year. People camping out in Best Buy parking lots for days, waiting in line at 3am to get some great deal, people fighting & attacking each other about toys & electronics, stores opening up in the middle of the night and psychotic people actually GOING out at 3am to shop there. I mean its news all day how many people get injured at a walmart stampede, the people arrested for assault fighting over a TV, old women being assaulted by people to get a damn doll. Really? This is what Christmas shopping has come down to? This is what this holiday as become? We should all be ashamed. They retail industry keeps taking it further because there are enough assholes out there they make money doing it. And I HATE it. With ever ounce of my being. There was a time when I enjoyed going out shopping...hunting for that perfect gift for that special someone, walking the mall and looking at decorations and just enjoying the festiveness of the season but that time has long gone. I dont find it very "Holiday Season" to go to the mall and have to deal with the assholes there that are literally and figuratively FIGHTING for the hottest trend because some ass on TV said it was the coolest shit ever and you MUST have it. Bury your head in the sand all you want...but Christmas stopped being about family & friends and started being about greed & materialism years ago and I dont have to like it.
I will definitely have my kind of Christmas. We will go to my Mom's on Christmas Eve and have a fantastic dinner with my family and sit around the tree and open gifts with the kids, we will eat until we can teat anymore, we will talk, tell stories and enjoy my mom's awesome decorating and the warm glow of lights. I will spend Christmas Day making a feast for my family and we will spend more time eating, drinking, relaxing and enjoying each others company being thankful that we have each other and appreciating the time we have together. I will get some presents, I will much more enjoy giving presents and it will be a great holiday for us all. I will hope we get snow, its cold and crisp and I will see Christmas lights reflecting off it giving a time of year that is usually gloomy a warm and heartening glow. I will watch Rudolf, Frosty the Snowman, Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation and all of my other favorite holiday movies. I will donate money and toys to help family's around me have better holidays and feel good that no matter how small I played a part in helping some child or family have a happier holiday. I will bake enough cookies to feed a country and revel in sharing those little pieces of me with people I genuinely care for. I will spend this holiday with a husband I adore and who adores me back, my family and friends and it will be as awesome as any has ever been and it will be far too short as always...
And even with all of those amazing things that will make this holiday awesome for me...i will still HATE the blatant commercialism that has infected this holiday like a plague, the Christmas ads I see on TV will still make me sporky especially the make me want to vomit jewelery ads (real people in real life dont fucking act like those idiots they script in those ads), I will still get ragey watching people be just dickish to each other just because they can be while wrapped up in their own selfish existences, I will still be nauseated by parents who think that the only way they can give their kids a nice holiday by buying them half of a toy store while their kids apprecaite none of the crap they get and I will still abhor the way Christmas went from family traditions to a gluttony of commercialism.
Yes, I still love Christmas, the traditions, the time to get together and enjoy our friends and family...but as a sane person I will at the same time completely hate and do my best to not participate in all of the overly commercialized and insulting transparent attempts of the majority of the planet to turn this holiday into retail gluttony.
And for any that say Im a hater...you very well may be right, but in my opinion you're living in denial if you cant see that your holiday is designed to cost you a fortune, stress you out, has little or nothing to do with the holiday & is more about giving your money to the retail machine ~ when in reality the best gift I will get this year is just some down time to celebrate life with my nearest and dearest.
I would rather be flat ass broke sitting near my Charlie Brown christmas tree with my Mister drinking a beer laughing at crude dick & fart jokes all night than frantically trying to make sure that our holiday lives up to some imaginary standard set by Martha Stewart or whoever.
Im curious to hear your thoughts. I can see both sides of the equation...but seriously I cant imagine I am the only one that has reached max for the forcing of Christmas down my throat for over 2 moths so Old Navy can see cheap fleece. Christmas means more than stupid shit to me. Its about appreciating what you have, helping others who may need it and saying thanks to the people in your life that make it a better place to be.....and Im pretty sure that a drill doesnt express that as well as a hug, a personal gift and just saying the damn words. Am I wrong?
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