OMG IT DIDNT RAIN!!!!

Ive been determined to not let this wet & gloomy weather get me in a funk. I have seen a crap ton of somewhat justified bitching on the interwebs about all the muck outside and had no desire to take part in it. I get why parents would be hating this shit - my dogs have been all stir crazy not being able to get outside so I can only imagine the level of suck when its small humans all wired for sound and able to actually speak and stuff - but more or less its weather. Bitch all you want - its not going to change so suck it up is generally my feeling.

But I was off this weekend on a fluke. And for the first time in MONTHS it didnt rain. ::knock me over with a feather::

A couple weeks ago I decided to fuck Mother Nature and her bipolar temper tantrums and go ahead and plant all my herbs, tomatoes, window boxes and porch planters. They all looked fabulous. But there was still this black hole of overgrown SUCK that was going to take some time & energy to deal with - and some dry - it was a freaking SWAMP in the garden.

Last year we tried a vegetable garden - and it was moderately successful...if you define success as getting to harvest like 65% of the veggies before they were eaten by fuzzy woodland creatures or rotted, having the whole area go until almost August before it was over 50% weeds or that I was able to get it all cut back before winter so it wasnt a TOTAL wreck this spring. (I am rather generous with my definition of success when it comes to gardening) I, again mind you, made it abundantly clear that I have not inherited my parents' green thumbs and have been left asking the question, again, as to WHY I keep trying. Im sure The Mister asks himself that question, too, but he gamely goes along with whatever harebrained scheme I concoct for the yard each spring. I havent decided if he does it to humor me, if he harbors the same delusions of farmerhood as I do or if he realizes the futility of arguing and pointing out the insanity of my desire to garden. I guess it could be all 3, really.

So this year started the same. I AM GOING TO HAVE A VEGETABLE GARDEN DAMMIT! And I planted all the little seedlings and got them under a grow light and watered them, read them self help books to boost their confidence and all that bullshit for about 5 weeks then did what Mindy's almost always do - one night I said Id water them the next night. The next night I said Id do it in the morning. The next morning I forgot. The next evening I watered them all so much they almost swam away. The next night I figured Id watered them so much the night before they really didn't need the water....and so on and so forth until these poor seedlings were in need of vegetable therapy due to abuse & neglect.

UNCLE! I admit defeat. Plans changed. I decided that I needed to own my complete inability to stick with a gardening regime. That instead of trying to make myself be the farmer that I feel I should be for some unknown reason I need to just  deal with the fact that I am not ever going to grow zucchini like my dad, that the idea of having to "weed" anything 3 or 4 times a week is more of a commitment than I am willing to make and that the CSA we signed up for and a few farmers markets will give me all the veg I need minus the complete feeling of failure when I pull up to my house and see the sad sad sad patch of land I called a garden.

So with no further ado I present to you...BEFORE

Those spikey things in the front right are asparagus. I kept those, just trimmed them down. And that monstrous green thing in front of that meter is cilantro. Yeah. Seriously. Cilantro. And there are some mutant strains of lettuce and the weeds that thrive in my neighborhood. Its it lovely? My window boxes and herbs are all up there too, so from the porch side it looks happy - but from the street ~ train-mothereffing-wreck!

And then the sun came out. And the ground became less swampy. And I wasnt at work. And neither was The Mister. Angels sung!!

So we spent the weekend ripping shit up. For the first time since I have had a yard every single perennial (and annual) that i have bought has been planted, in its home, BEFORE it has wilted and died.

I know! Right! The ones on the wall are to go under a hose on the side of the house, but everything else is planted, the mulch is down and my house looks nice again!!!

I still have to trim that stupid carpet piece I keep forgetting about and will probably add some more plants as the season progresses - I already have homes picked out for some mums I havent even bought yet and some ground cover pieces that I want for under the dwarf Japanese Maple, but holy hell it looks like a different house to me!

I just want to go sit in it.

This was 1 of 2 bitch projects outside this summer. The other one isnt one that I can help much with ~ The Mister has to tear down and rebuild a retaining wall that holds up the patio. I doubt it will be much fun, but with the birth of this garden I was able to move the 3 big azaleas that were in that planter so when it is done I can plant it with strawberry plants. Oh yes - homemade strawberry jam FTW!!

Which reminds me I am going to post a Strawberry Pretzel Cheesecake recipe here in the next day or so. It was so good my mouth is watering just thinking about it. And it was EASY.

Aside: Yesterday was week 6 of non-smoking. Yep folks. SIX Weeks! I am taking the pills when I remember too, but that isnt all too often. Still dealing with the occasional want to have a smoke, but they are fewer & further between than before and ever so much easier to dismiss.

I am LOVING this summer start so far...rain or no rain!

Why married people don't have sex...

Such an excellent Sunday! They said yuck weather ALL day & they were wrong...yay!!!

Me & Mister made an early pilgrimage to Lowes to get a buncha crap that we needed to make the garden LIVE! Mission accomplished!  We got a bunch of fencing to keep the dogs & other wildlife away from our veggies, some mushroom manure and got the whole thing planted.  Seems that I over estimated the room we would have in the garden, so the majority of the for real veggies are going to live in the garden, the shallots & garlic now have a happy home in a planter on the patio and the horseradish does too.  Thats probably best only because all 3 are perennials and have the tendency to take over their areas after a year or 2 so they can have the big ass planters and grow away.  It looks a bit sparse at the moment, but its new so it'll get better.  Im hoping our fencing is enough to keep critters from eating everything.  It should be, but critters can be conniving little fuckers. I can tell you this, the Puppy, she does NOT understand why she isnt allowed to go into where all the dirt that shes loves so much is. She just seems perplexed that there is so much that she wants just right over there and she cant get it. Its terribly amusing. The Old Gal...well she could care less outside of the fact she now has to walk AROUND this inconvenience to get to HER yard...but she's old, so its somewhat expected. Well that and she really could care less if we ever ate vegetables. Her favorite vegetable is cow.

We did suffer some casualties in the seedling department, but I think that our basement is just too cool & damp to grow happy seedlings.  Next attempts are going to be relocated to our office, which is rarely used to do anything but put shit I dont want to look at for a looong time, and its sunny and much much warmer.  I think that'll make for much stronger seedlings.  We live & we learn!

So a new problem is that there was little to no room for the herbs that I seeded in the garden.  This requires a Plan B. I didnt really have a Plan B for this situation.  Im thinking I may just get some planters and plant them in those.  That will be easier to keep weeded for sure. I really dont know, going to have to do some research and see what strikes my fancy.

Also got under our dogwood dug out so I could transplant some phlox that are in another planter.  They had grown to be wicked huge & healthy but the Mister has to tear down the walls and rebuild them so their only chance of survival was being moved.  So we got it all dug out & I moved them so now there is a gorgeous mound of phlox laying under my dogwood.  Strange note about the dogwood - it was almost completely split in half during the snow storms, but it budded, so I zip tied the 2 pieces together and it seems to be doing well.  Thats pretty awesome, but quite weird.

So now to figure out where I want to move the 3 azalea shrubs that are in there too.  Two of them are doing really well, 1 has been the victim of the sand slipping behind the wall.  Its not dead, but its not very happy either.  Hoping a relocation will render it beautiful again...it just needs some healthy dirt.  Not sure where I want to put them yet, but I'm thinking maybe against the fence we just put up on the far side of the garden. We shall see what the Mister thinks...

Once he finishes the wall reconstruction I have 20 strawberry plants to plant and if there is more room I might go get some other berry shrubs to go in there too.  I know I wont get much this year, but next year I should get enough to make some jam and thats the why I'm planting them in the first place.   If there isnt room I am already developing another place to grow some berry shrubs.  There's a pretty sweet spot down by the dogwood that wouldnt take too long to turn over and could use something to take the eyes away from the abandoned garage that is slowly decaying back there - see photo above. (I thank the borough for its continued existence...one of these years maybe they will tear down the hazard...maybe) I will need to do more research to see if this is a feasible idea or not...Mister tends to get a tad irritated when I say things like "Hey Mister! You need to make this happen" when its going to be a pain in the ass. I have to at the very least KNOW if it will be a pain in the ass before I ask to have it done...

I also got my planters on the porch loaded with begonias and some other purple thing I cant remember the name of at the moment.  Next up is the hanging baskets but it's not quite time for that just yet. 

The Puppy is standing guard of the newly moved Butterfly bush and the Asiatic lily & freesia bulbs I planted today, too.  I really think if she had a vote we would play outside in the dirt all day every day...unfortunately she has not acquired the manners of a non-asshole puppy so its less fun for me & Mister.

All in all one hell of a productive day...and I was showered & relaxing before 5pm. 

So this is the answer. This is why.  Married people dont not have sex because they dont want to...its because they get married, buy houses and all of a sudden have a gazillion tons of bullshit they have to do that single people...renters...dont have to do.

...but the flowers are gorgeous and the veggies will be awesome ;-)