Strawberry Pretzel Cheesecake

You know that jello salad that appears as just about every summer picnic in Southwestern PA? You know the one...the one with the usually stale & not quite busted up enough pretzels under that waxy under-whipped layer of cream cheese & cool whip that is topped with a gelatinous layer of strawberry jello & frozen strawberries. The one that as it sits on the picnic table the pretzel pieces start to get soggy and pink from weeping strawberry jello? The bright red center piece of a Yinzer Buffet!!

Yeah...its a favorite of mine too. Always has been. I have had fabulous versions of it and I have had abominable versions of it.....but I always try at least a little. There is just something about the salty crunchy pretzels, sweet cream and tangy strawberry that taste like summer to me.

I do love it in all of its 1964 jello salad with fruit floating in it glory. BUT. It could be much better. Its potential plagued me. The flavor combo & textures are excellent. The jello aspect less than desirable in my opinion.

Aside: I suck at making Jell-o. Yes. Really. Stop laughing. Jell-o. Well, if you ask to me make jello shots I will exceed all expectations and they will be the very best you will ever have. But if you want just normal jell-o, ask someone else. Mine never sets, it gets that hard ookie layer, it separates. Whatever. It used to bug me but Ive learned to accept it. Since its apparently confession time I also cannot make instant pudding - it always comes out super runny & gross. Im so odd.

Since I was unwilling to fight with jello & wanted to perfect this picnic staple it needed to be reborn. And it was. As a cheesecake. A custardy, light, creamy, melt in your mouth vanilla bean cheesecake on a graham cracker pretzel crust topped with crushed strawberry preserves.

Oh yes. This kicked strawberry pretzel jello's ass and made its mother apologize for it ever being born.

Some notes before I get to the recipe ~

I abhor dense cheesecake so this one has no thickeners or starch in it on purpose. It is closer to a dense cream cheese custard than a heavy brick-like cheesecake but it will still cut & plate gorgeously, just be gentle. I also am not a sweet freak so the cake itself doesnt have a crap ton of sugar in it.

Use a Spring Form pan. This is a WRECK to unmold if you dont and wont layer prettily either.

I use vanilla beans in it because I have a bazillion of them in my freezer (make my own extract w them) and I think its divine, but hardly necessary - just up the extract by 2 tsp & it will be just as good.

I used fruit pectin to thicken my fruit. It is a vegan jelly thickener that is at the grocery store - you could also just use a package of jello - but I fear the jello & also didnt want that artifical flavor when strawberries are so awesome straight this time if year. If I were making this in October I may feel much differently.

Cooks Disclaimer: I am not a measurer, I am a taster & a looker, even with baking & pastries when I can be and with cheesecake I can be.

Crust:

• 2 cups crushed pretzel pieces
• 1 package of graham crackers, crushed up
• 1/2 cup dark brown sugar
• 2/3 stick unsalted butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350. Put all of the dry ingredients in a food processor & pulse until broken up & combined. Slowly drizzle in butter and mix until its all together. Press into the bottom of a 10" spring form pan and bake at 350 for about 20-25 minutes. Crust is done when golden & smells all toasty. Set out to cool. Reduce oven to 300.

Filling:

• 2-8oz packages Cream Cheese
• 1-8oz package Neufatel Cheese
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 whole egg
• 4 egg yolks
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 each cut & scraped vanilla bean
• 6oz Greek yogurt (plain, honey)

Put both the cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle and mix on medium until combined & softened. Scrape bowl, add the sugar & mix on medium high until light and fluffy. Scrape the bowl.

While mixing on medium add the whole egg than egg yolks one at a time beating well between additions and scraping at least once in the middle.

Add the remaining ingredients and mix on high until light, glossy and thickened.  Pour on top of cooled crust and smooth the top out. Pace on a sheet tray, put in middle of over and fill tray with at least 1/2" of water.  Bake at 300 for 45 minutes.

Test at 45 minutes. Give it a wiggle. The center should be set like jello, jiggly but set. It may require another 10 or so minutes at this point, set timer for 5 minute intervals and keep an eye on it.

When done remove it from the oven & set at room temp until pan is cool enough to touch then transfer to refrigerator to completely cool.

Strawberry Topping:

• 2 pints fresh strawberries - hulled & quartered
• 3/4 cup sugar (more or less depending on taste)
• 4 Tbsp Fruit Pectin
• 6oz water

Put the berries in a bowl with 1/4 cup sugar & toss to coat. Let sit at room temp until they start to get saucy, smash with a fork.  Put the water, remaining 1/2 cup sugar & fruit pectin in a small pot on stove & bring to a boil stirring constantly. It gets weird thick because of the pectin. When it is thickened pour over macerated berries and continue to fork smash to get a nice consistency. Let sit at room temp until ready to use on cake.

When cake is TOTALLY cool & set spread the preserves over the cheesecake, return to the fridge to let it all set up completely.

When ready to unmold run a paring knife around the edge to loosen the preserves & I use a blow torch to release the cake from the side of the pan, but you can just use a cake spatula or knife if it suits you better.

I served it as is. I didnt think it needed much else to be honest. Garnish wise you could do lots - choco dipped pretzel pieces or strawberries, whipped cream, fresh berries sauce....whatever blows your hair back.  If you like your cheesecake thicker or want one that is more firm add 4 Tbsp of flour in with the  sugar & cream cheese.

Hope you dig & let me know how it turns out if you make it!!

I also have made this in the mega muffin cups with the muffin cup liners, I just dont parbake the shells. Really cute individual dessert idea.

Happy baking!!

Foodie BS on the Brain!!!

I stick my foot in my mouth alot. I cant really help it, although with age & maturity I have gotten slightly better. See my problem is I suck at and generally dont believe in sugar-coating things. Yes, there are times and places that warrant the use of my self editing program, but those occasions usually involve children or old people and thats about it. But overall, as anyone who has had the pleasure of dealing with me for any amount of time can vouch, I pretty much just call them like I see them and if you dont like it you can bite me. Ive told people for a long time - be careful what you ask, because I will answer, and you may not like what I have to say.  On the plus side rarely am I told that people dont know where I stand or what I expect in any situation or the people involved in it and I consider that a plus.  So my Twitter feed is littered with my personal brand of snark...and last night I was snarking about Chopped.

And as I am sure I have mentioned once or twice I am a chef....and my television viewing habits reflect as much. My recent DVR faves are Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, Chopped, Hells Kitchen & Master Chef. I LOVE seeing real cooks cooking for real, and all of those shows (some I will admit go a bit over the top with the editing for drama but thats not why I watch) are people who cook to pay the bills. I appreciate that. I cant stand watching the cooking shows, those people arent chefs, they may have been at some point, but they are now TV personalities that happen to cook. Mario Batali, Rachel Ray, Bobby Flay (who might I add NEVER wins on that goddamn Throwdown show and that is hysterical to me!), and the Satan of the Culinary World Emeril Lagasse - that man is just a tool bag - I do not watch any of their crap shows. I can see why they would be helpful to an average home cook, but not for me. But the reality show contest format ones - cant get enough.

So last night Mister was at work and I was catching up on some of my DVRs and was watching Chopped. Through the course of watching I had a couple of tweets about it...

WTF is with the arugula? I swear to god every damn episode I have watched each of the 4 competitors has a dish that includes "a nice arugula salad".  Arugula is good, dont get me wrong, but it is not the be-all end-all of greens and has become so trite it annoys me to see it on a menu, any menu really.

I tweeted "Also Chopped related: Scott Conant can be such a pretentious prick. I'd love to see him try to do this w no technical flaws. Douche." So hes a good chef based out of New York that specializes in REAL Italian food...not Yinzer Italian. Scott is a successful restaurateur and accomplished chef, much respect from me on both counts. This doesnt change the fact that he tends to be a pretentious prick. He seems to think that 1) if seafood and cheese appear on the same plate you have just committed a crime against humanity and should be shot on sight,  2) that if you improperly cook pasta it is a personal attack against him and all things he holds near and dear to his heart and 3) that he is above reproach in taste, execution and skill - which I do not believe he is. 

Geoffrey Zakarian is the only other judge who enrages me like Scott Conant does. I can at least respect Scott - Geoffrey on the other hand doesnt really appear to know what he is talking about 90% of the time and gets so condescending I dont know that I would be able to resist the urge to punch him in his little face if he Chopped me. Between the 2 of them though, when they are on the panel together, there tends to be ridiculous hyper-criticism & snark about finite details of the dishes and an overall attitude of they are better than you. Really? I challenge either of them to put there money where their mouths are and do Mystery Basket meals under such time constraints in front of a camera (most of the competitors for the first time EVER, mind you) without making ANY mistakes. I would bet they would crumble like saltines and weep like children.  Takes balls to do what those competitors do and I dont know that either of them, regardless of their culinary pedigrees, could do any better. I think Tom Coliccho from Top Chef needs to have a lesson with the Chopped judges about constructive & blunt criticism. Tom is not nice, hes is very straight forward & will totally tell them if their food was crap or sub-par without flinching and he manages to do so without coming off as condescending, rude or arrogant - take notes Scott & Geoffrey! You dont have to be an asshole to make your point!


So this morning I open my Twitter and Scott apparently searches for himself because he re-tweeted by pretentious prick comment from last night. This made me laugh my ass off...at least he appears to have a sense of humor about himself and his dickish behavior. Hell I didnt even know he was on Twitter...so I followed him & asked him about the arugula thing...it really bugs me. Well that and they will bust on people for lack of creativity and never say a damn word about the cop out arugula salad ever. We shall see if he answers me...I kind of hope he does & I also hope that he really isnt as big of a dick as he comes across on that show.


Even if the judges annoy me I still will watch. I like to play along at home with the chefs competing and see what I would do with the Mystery Basket ingredients. But I do think that before any of the judges should be allowed to judge they should have to compete and see what kind of magic they can pull out of a basket...seems only fair that if you are going to sit at your chopping block and pass hard judgment on those competing that you yourself should have to be judged. 


Completely unrelated - I think I have perfected the chocolate chip cookie recipe I have been tinkering with. I made the most perfect, soft, chewy, buttery cookies the other night. A year well spent tweaking that out until it was what I wanted the end product to be. I started with 5 recipes and then isolated what I liked and what I didnt from each and what caused those characteristics until I came up with my own. If you dig that style of choc chip cookie let me know and I may post the recipe. It couldnt be easier to make and seriously - so much better than any cookie you will buy!


Also mostly unrelated - Ive been making my own vanilla extract. I bake a lot and go through gallons a year. This gets pricey. Pure Vanilla Extract can run up to $50 a quart depending on quality. Personally I feel that the better extracts are worth the money - if its worth making its worth making as delicious as you can. So Mister did some research for me (seriously - hes better than the Googles, I kid you not) and we discovered extracts are wicked easy to make and rather inexpensive compared to what I buy. I accepted delivery on 1/2# of Madagascar Vanilla beans earlier this week and have set another bottle of vodka to turn into delicious vanilla extract. I put 12 split beans & 1 Tbsp of sugar into a middle of the road vodka (Smirnoff for example) and let it sit for a month. I top off with more vodka & refresh the beans as I need to and I have a perpetually refreshing vanilla in my liquor cupboard all the time. It genuinely makes a difference in the end product. The vanilla flavoring is more true, the aroma is divine and its so much better that I hope to never purchase vanilla again. Its also so easy anyone who bakes a lot should try it. I think I am going to attempt lemon & orange next...why not? I want to try other flavors too...any suggestions or requests? 


Up next in Mindy's Kitchen Adventures - Mindy Learns to Can Shit - because I have enough tomatoes to feed an army and would like to save them. I attempted to can last year, but failed miserably due to technical errors. This year tomatoes, applesauce, apple butter and maybe peaches just because I can. No technical errors allowed...because this time Im going to read all of the instructions twice before I start...and just to be extra sure have Mister read them over too so I can blame him if it doesnt work :-)

FUNK!

I totally should have written this yesterday while I was off...but I didn't.  Instead I spent my day screwing around with the pups, running a few errands, gym-shopping-dinner with the Mister then sleep...all in all a nice day off really and I made this bumpin marinated pasta/veggie/feta salad for dinner that was kind of healthy when topped with some grilled chicken tenders in a tangy red wine vinaigrette. Pretty delicious!

I've been having a FUNK week. Actually probably more like 2 weeks.  Ok, realistically it's probably been more like the last year, but the last 2 weeks have been pretty brutal.  Its been the kind of March that pretty much makes me want to curl up in a ball somewhere and weep or (and this is definitely more my style) start shooting and ask questions later.  Lucky for all I am not a truly violent person & I have learned to control my homicidal urges...

So I finally went to the doc about the excessive neck & back pain that I was chalking up to stress...i NEVER have a shortage of that and in the last couple months its been bad. Turns out that after some xrays & an MRI I apparently have some kind of cysts on the nerve endings near my neck that are the cause of this pain. Stress definitely wont help the situation, but its the root cause as far as I know...thats kinda good news!  I'll be honest here, I've been entirely too chicken to Google it. Im sure there is a wealth of information out there that I could acquire, but Mister hasnt sent me any links & Ive always taken a "it's probably better if I dont know then I wont have to worry" attitude in situations like this.  Yes, I am painfully aware this is somewhat stupid, but its not like I can fix this with the Google & I really dont need to be obsessing about what kind of cancer I have until JUNE 14th (yes thats right, JUNE 14th) which is the soonest I could get in to the neurologist my doc referred me to. Three months. Yeah, fuck the google...id really rather not drive myself batty in the next 3 months worrying.  Side note- I am working on trying to get it all moving faster, so I will try some other neurologists if I cant get this one to bump my appt. I cant be in this kind of random pain until June. Nosireebob!

Work can basically suck my ass.  I can honestly say that for the first time in 9.5 years with this company I sincerely had to talk myself back into my office. I'm not a quitter by nature, but it really and truly took all I had to convince myself that I was going to FUCK myself hardcore if I got up and walked out of there last Tuesday. Even my most reliable, in the voice of my mother of course, nagging about my responsibilities and obligations did nothing to stop the myriad of justifications I had for just disappearing from my desk never to return with a simple "Sorry, I cant take this bullshit anymore. Gone NUTSO! XOXO Mindy" note on the desk.  There were 2 things that made me stay. Two. 9.5 years at this place and I could only think of 2 reasons to not walk. 1) Health Insurance. With all the shit going on with my back & neck and knowing that there may possibly really be something wrong I cant afford not to have it and cant afford to pay Cobra $400 a month to keep it. That fucking SUCKS. 2) I dont know that I would be able to look myself in the eye knowing that I did that. That I walked away just like that. That it beat me. That I quit. Ive struggled with quitting this job for a long time, and even though I plan to do so at some point this year a very small part of me still feels like it is because the place and job beat me. I KNOW in my head that it hasnt, this is just not what I want out of my career/life, by in my heart it still feels that way. I also know in my head that admitting that the job beat me isnt the end of the world and is irrelevant in the grand scheme...but I also HATE that it may have beaten me, I dont really get beaten at things that matter, at least not thus far... I will wrestle this into submission, knowing that the job may not have beaten me, but the jackass I work for, in all of his infinite wisdom and confusing-makes-no-sense bullshit, did. And that for some reason bothers me a lot less. The most apt comparison I can make is that working with/for The Wizard is most often the equivalent of working for The Joker (preferably the Heath Ledger version if you please). He is an agent of chaos, there is no logic to how his mind works, no consistency to his actions and no stop to his frustrating games. You cant beat this kind of person mainly because the game changes on a whim...and that I do understand in my heart and my head.

We are planting a garden this year!!! Mister has the walls we need to put up roped off, the little seedlings are all planted & growing quite well and Im excited.  We are going to have a ton of fresh veggies! Tomatoes, zucchini, green beans, snap peas, japanese radish, carrots, a shit ton of fresh herbs and a bunch of other things Im not remembering. Cant wait to get it constructed so I can map it out and get it planted.  I always liked gardening with my dad, we shall see if I remember what he taught me and if I can grow my garden as well as his will be...shit I might even try recruiting a little help ;-)

Im filling in on line this weekend at one of the restaurants (this was item #27 that almost made me walk Tuesday) so that should be entertaining. I dont have to do that very often, and when I do I am usually pretty amazed at how quick it comes back, the flow, movement, pace...and I enjoy it.  Its the kind of work you just have to do, not THINK about it. And I think thats the kind of work I can get behind about now.