I stick my foot in my mouth alot. I cant really help it, although with age & maturity I have gotten slightly better. See my problem is I suck at and generally dont believe in sugar-coating things. Yes, there are times and places that warrant the use of my self editing program, but those occasions usually involve children or old people and thats about it. But overall, as anyone who has had the pleasure of dealing with me for any amount of time can vouch, I pretty much just call them like I see them and if you dont like it you can bite me. Ive told people for a long time - be careful what you ask, because I will answer, and you may not like what I have to say. On the plus side rarely am I told that people dont know where I stand or what I expect in any situation or the people involved in it and I consider that a plus. So my Twitter feed is littered with my personal brand of snark...and last night I was snarking about Chopped.
And as I am sure I have mentioned once or twice I am a chef....and my television viewing habits reflect as much. My recent DVR faves are Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, Chopped, Hells Kitchen & Master Chef. I LOVE seeing real cooks cooking for real, and all of those shows (some I will admit go a bit over the top with the editing for drama but thats not why I watch) are people who cook to pay the bills. I appreciate that. I cant stand watching the cooking shows, those people arent chefs, they may have been at some point, but they are now TV personalities that happen to cook. Mario Batali, Rachel Ray, Bobby Flay (who might I add NEVER wins on that goddamn Throwdown show and that is hysterical to me!), and the Satan of the Culinary World Emeril Lagasse - that man is just a tool bag - I do not watch any of their crap shows. I can see why they would be helpful to an average home cook, but not for me. But the reality show contest format ones - cant get enough.
So last night Mister was at work and I was catching up on some of my DVRs and was watching Chopped. Through the course of watching I had a couple of tweets about it...
WTF is with the arugula? I swear to god every damn episode I have watched each of the 4 competitors has a dish that includes "a nice arugula salad". Arugula is good, dont get me wrong, but it is not the be-all end-all of greens and has become so trite it annoys me to see it on a menu, any menu really.
I tweeted "Also Chopped related: Scott Conant can be such a pretentious prick. I'd love to see him try to do this w no technical flaws. Douche." So hes a good chef based out of New York that specializes in REAL Italian food...not Yinzer Italian. Scott is a successful restaurateur and accomplished chef, much respect from me on both counts. This doesnt change the fact that he tends to be a pretentious prick. He seems to think that 1) if seafood and cheese appear on the same plate you have just committed a crime against humanity and should be shot on sight, 2) that if you improperly cook pasta it is a personal attack against him and all things he holds near and dear to his heart and 3) that he is above reproach in taste, execution and skill - which I do not believe he is.
Geoffrey Zakarian is the only other judge who enrages me like Scott Conant does. I can at least respect Scott - Geoffrey on the other hand doesnt really appear to know what he is talking about 90% of the time and gets so condescending I dont know that I would be able to resist the urge to punch him in his little face if he Chopped me. Between the 2 of them though, when they are on the panel together, there tends to be ridiculous hyper-criticism & snark about finite details of the dishes and an overall attitude of they are better than you. Really? I challenge either of them to put there money where their mouths are and do Mystery Basket meals under such time constraints in front of a camera (most of the competitors for the first time EVER, mind you) without making ANY mistakes. I would bet they would crumble like saltines and weep like children. Takes balls to do what those competitors do and I dont know that either of them, regardless of their culinary pedigrees, could do any better. I think Tom Coliccho from Top Chef needs to have a lesson with the Chopped judges about constructive & blunt criticism. Tom is not nice, hes is very straight forward & will totally tell them if their food was crap or sub-par without flinching and he manages to do so without coming off as condescending, rude or arrogant - take notes Scott & Geoffrey! You dont have to be an asshole to make your point!
So this morning I open my Twitter and Scott apparently searches for himself because he re-tweeted by pretentious prick comment from last night. This made me laugh my ass off...at least he appears to have a sense of humor about himself and his dickish behavior. Hell I didnt even know he was on Twitter...so I followed him & asked him about the arugula thing...it really bugs me. Well that and they will bust on people for lack of creativity and never say a damn word about the cop out arugula salad ever. We shall see if he answers me...I kind of hope he does & I also hope that he really isnt as big of a dick as he comes across on that show.
Even if the judges annoy me I still will watch. I like to play along at home with the chefs competing and see what I would do with the Mystery Basket ingredients. But I do think that before any of the judges should be allowed to judge they should have to compete and see what kind of magic they can pull out of a basket...seems only fair that if you are going to sit at your chopping block and pass hard judgment on those competing that you yourself should have to be judged.
Completely unrelated - I think I have perfected the chocolate chip cookie recipe I have been tinkering with. I made the most perfect, soft, chewy, buttery cookies the other night. A year well spent tweaking that out until it was what I wanted the end product to be. I started with 5 recipes and then isolated what I liked and what I didnt from each and what caused those characteristics until I came up with my own. If you dig that style of choc chip cookie let me know and I may post the recipe. It couldnt be easier to make and seriously - so much better than any cookie you will buy!
Also mostly unrelated - Ive been making my own vanilla extract. I bake a lot and go through gallons a year. This gets pricey. Pure Vanilla Extract can run up to $50 a quart depending on quality. Personally I feel that the better extracts are worth the money - if its worth making its worth making as delicious as you can. So Mister did some research for me (seriously - hes better than the Googles, I kid you not) and we discovered extracts are wicked easy to make and rather inexpensive compared to what I buy. I accepted delivery on 1/2# of Madagascar Vanilla beans earlier this week and have set another bottle of vodka to turn into delicious vanilla extract. I put 12 split beans & 1 Tbsp of sugar into a middle of the road vodka (Smirnoff for example) and let it sit for a month. I top off with more vodka & refresh the beans as I need to and I have a perpetually refreshing vanilla in my liquor cupboard all the time. It genuinely makes a difference in the end product. The vanilla flavoring is more true, the aroma is divine and its so much better that I hope to never purchase vanilla again. Its also so easy anyone who bakes a lot should try it. I think I am going to attempt lemon & orange next...why not? I want to try other flavors too...any suggestions or requests?
Up next in Mindy's Kitchen Adventures - Mindy Learns to Can Shit - because I have enough tomatoes to feed an army and would like to save them. I attempted to can last year, but failed miserably due to technical errors. This year tomatoes, applesauce, apple butter and maybe peaches just because I can. No technical errors allowed...because this time Im going to read all of the instructions twice before I start...and just to be extra sure have Mister read them over too so I can blame him if it doesnt work :-)
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