An observation I dont fully understand....
I use Tweetdeck to follow my Twitter feed and my work ones. I actually love the program, makes it wicked easy to keep track of things at a glance and I am all about that kind of efficiency. Because I use it for both work & personal I have a couple search columns loaded up with some fairly general search terms that bring up a completely random list of tweets that are most often completely unrelated, sometimes amusing and occasionally relevant to what I am looking for.
I have noticed though that a portion of this random feed of humanity speaks a complete different language. It is challenging to even try to read and translate this twitglish into comprehensible english. I noticed this special language a lot a couple weeks ago, it was a particularly chatty day I guess, and started watching my personal feed for it. I dont really pay much attention to my counts, but I think I follow somewhere around 175 people. These are all kinds of people; regular people like me, celebrities, news & sports stuff, random tweeters I find entertaining, all kindsa people. And none of them speak this special language (thanks to them all!). They use their vowels, manage to speak mostly coherent thoughts in 140 characters and I can read all of them without having to say them out loud to try to figure it out.
I usually just skim the Twitglish over. I very much doubt that I am missing much by not spending the time to translate them. But I do not get it. Its not phonetics. I know that not everyone is excellent at spelling, and im totally cool with typos, I make a lot of them...but this is just strange and very deliberate. If I had any idea how to take a screen shot I would to show you what I am talking about. If you have the ability to see tweets around you on your smart phone of choice check it out and you'll see this bizarre language. I warn you, it'll make your brain cramp up a little.
It is the deliberateness of it that makes me scratch my head. I've met a lot of people in my adventures and would say that very, very few of them weren't at least high school graduates. Even those that may not have graduated from high school attended school for a a good number of years before leaving for whatever reason. Basic reading, writing and spelling is taught early, like what...1-6th grade? I think it is safe to say just about all of us made it that far with varying degrees of success...but we made it. And I kind of figure if your smart enough to figure out the Twitters there's an even better chance that you've made it out of high school and beyond....
So why Twitglish? Some may argue its the 140 character thing...but I disagree. You can be brief without your tweet reading like the random ramblings of an intelligent toddler. Use your words people!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Google News made my head explode...
*WARNING* this post is about politics & religion...if you dont want to hear it stop reading.
Third day in a row I opened up my browser to my google news page and saw ANOTHER article, the 3rd in as many days, speculating about Obama's religious preferences. I will not link to any of them because I feel it perpetuates the problem, but they were from various legit news sources & were editorial pieces, to clarify.
The first was loaded with opinion pole data about what we, as Americans, THINK his religious views are regardless of what he says they are. This made me twitch. So we are placing it to a vote now as to what church we think he attends and what religion he practices? Silly me, I thought that if the man and his family SAY they are Christian that should be enough and what a percentage of our dear population THINKS is really quite irrelevant.
The second I read was more or less an open demand for Obama to PROVE hes Christian by stopping the building of that Mosque, proving he isnt Muslim and for him to find a way to show Americans that hes Christian and not Muslim. I have a slew of issues with the whole article. 1) How does him stopping that build on PRIVATE PROPERTY prove anything outside of him caving to political/religious pressure? 2) Why does he have to prove a damn thing? I dont have to justify or prove my religious beliefs at all, why is it different for him and what business is it of anyones? Faith is a very personal thing and something that you have to choose on your own, not justify to a nation built & founded on the basis of FREEDOM, freedom of religion specifically for fucks sake, read a god damn history book. 3) What fucking difference does it make what religion he practices? He wasnt elected to the Presidency because of his religious affiliations, he was elected to do a job, and that job was not The Pope.
The one I read today wanted to know why Obama doesnt wear his religion on his sleeve. Why the hell should he? If that is how you choose to celebrate your faith more power to you, but just because he doesnt treat the Oval Office like a church pulpit doesnt negate his role as a leader or render him less effective in his job.
Honestly I dont care if you like him, if you voted for him or if you agree with what he has done thus far. As I stated in previous post, I dont think it matters who was elected last term - this was a shit sandwich of epic proportions and I feel he has handled it as admirably as possible given our polarized political climate, the complete lack of cooperation in our government and the almost total collapse of our economy. I challenge any of you to say you could do better given the hurdles that man faced the day he stepped into that office. I sure as fuck wouldnt have wanted that job and it irks the hell out of me to listen to arm-chair presidents think they can fix this. If it was possible to make it all better easily it would have been done by now. He sure as hell didnt make the mess but has been trying to clean it up and anyone who holds him totally responsible for the state of our nation is either naive or looking for a reason to hate him. Took decades to make this clusterfuck - gonna take just as long to get out and I dont think remaining open minded to change and maybe trying to support the COUNTRY is too much to ask and just may serve us better as a society instead of picking out demons and angels. All politicians suck. Period. Our local government proves this every day, and their political or religious affiliations dont change the level of suck.
That being said I think what truly bothers me, and bothers me a lot, is that the line between Church & State has become so blurred that discourse like what I have seen on Google is deemed ok. Its not. At all. I firmly believe in everyones ability and right to practice the faith of their choosing and not have to justify that faith to anyone. This country was founded by people who were run out of their homes for not agreeing with the religious mandates of their country's government, they came here so they could be free to worship as they believed and we built our governing rules on this principal. Since when are the only acceptable religious beliefs from that of Christianity? Since when did it become a crime to practice something other than Christianity? When did it become necessary to prove your Christianity in order to not be crucified on a national level if you are in a position of power? Never is the answer to all 3 of those questions. I understand that the majority of people in America do practice one form of Christianity or another...but that doesnt mean it is the ONLY acceptable option out there by any strech of the imagination.
I absolutely abhor the power of the Christian right in my government. I find it almost intolerable that laws are written to govern our society that are based on the puritanical views of a percentage of our population. It makes my skin crawl that there is enough money and power in the Christian Right to greatly effect the law making process of our country. Laws & Faith are 2 totally different things. Laws are based on morality, for sure, but there is far more to morals, right & wrong than just faith. Where did the separation of church & state go? In my opinion this is an area that needs reinforced & revisited.
Gay Marriage and abortion are the 2 hot topics off the top of my head that demonstrate this point most effectively. Opponents of both site biblical/faith reasons why neither should be allowed legally. Last time I checked we were governed by the Constitution, not the Bible, so how are these arguments relevant? God is not the president, we elect a human to do that. Laws should not be written that effect all based on the faith & beliefs of some.
For the record I think it is ridiculous gay marriage is even an issue that requires debate. Marriage is not a sacred covenant anymore. 50% divorce rate proves that more than anything else out there, not to mention its more of a legal issue than a religious one. If you are in a same sex relationship and your partner is lying in a hospital bed dying for whatever reason, as a partner you have no say so in the course of treatment or what happens because you are not recognized as a husband or wife or even a family member. Thats some bullshit. Me & Mister were together almost 10 years before we tied the knot. If something had happened to him and they even TRIED to keep me out of that room there would have been blood spilled, I dont care if we were married or not. So these people and groups will go out of their way to stop people who's relationships have ZERO effect on their own from getting married just because they can. Related - all those "God hates Fags" poster carriers I see pics of from their rallys - I disagree - God hates ignorant, mean and stupid people who can only communicate their points with vulgarity & offense. It amazes me that this is even a debate. Why shouldnt same sex couples have the right to get married and all the benefits that come with it and how is this anyone's business but their own? I can get married and divorced a bazillion times - doesnt that ruin the sanctity of marriage more than a gay couple getting married? I would think so.
And abortion I am absolutely Pro-Choice. I know that it isnt a decision I could ever make and one that thankfully for me (because my parents TAUGHT me about how to protect myself - thanks mom & dad) I have ever had to make...but I dont feel its right for the government to tell me that I can or cant have that as an option. There are far too many scenarios that I could see that being viable for someone else, and I feel that it should be their right to make that decision. Yes, it needs to be monitored & there has to be rules for having an abortion, it should never been deemed a method of birth control, but I feel its a personal decision that needs to be made by the people involved, not one that should be made by a politician or religious group on my behalf. Believe what you like and practice it until you die - but forcing other people to live their lives according to your beliefs is bullshit. If 50% of Americans hates broccoli are we going to outlaw it? No. So if 50% of the population hates the idea of gay marriage or abortion why do they get to stop it from happening? They shouldnt, they should just mind their own business and live their lives and leave others to do the same. Just because you have an opinion doesnt mean that the world needs to agree with it. Opinions & Laws are very very different.
It makes me sad and also worries me to see the involvement of the religious fanatics in our government. It makes me angry to hear those same people calling anyone out about extremist religions while being so blissfully unaware that they are just as bad. It makes me want to cry that they feel ok blindly passing judgment on other religious beliefs - like the Muslims - without ever bothering to learn more about their beliefs, practices or faith. It baffles me that they cant see the forest for the trees and realize that they are themselves religious terrorists on our own soil. The hipocracy makes my brain hurt. I know so many wonderful people that practice their Christianity and other faiths with a good heart, open mind and with love. I know those that get the press and make the most noise are the minority and the most vocal...but I really think they miss the point of having faith in the first place. Faith is not about forcing your beliefs on another person, its about acceptance, love, forgiveness and understanding...but I think someone must have torn that chapter out of their bibles, because that is def not what they practice regardless of what they preach.
Ok Im done. Well at least ranting about it here. I hope that in my life time I get to see this get better and get to see people start to see the light. Our system doesnt work. It needs adapted to accommodate the times, technology and cultural climate. I hope that we as a society can rise above all the petty bullshit slung across our media by a minority of jerkoffs and find the greater good. I hope we can stop being such sheep and make intelligent choices in the coming decades. I hope we can learn to respect each others opinions and learn to celebrate our differences. I hope...
Third day in a row I opened up my browser to my google news page and saw ANOTHER article, the 3rd in as many days, speculating about Obama's religious preferences. I will not link to any of them because I feel it perpetuates the problem, but they were from various legit news sources & were editorial pieces, to clarify.
The first was loaded with opinion pole data about what we, as Americans, THINK his religious views are regardless of what he says they are. This made me twitch. So we are placing it to a vote now as to what church we think he attends and what religion he practices? Silly me, I thought that if the man and his family SAY they are Christian that should be enough and what a percentage of our dear population THINKS is really quite irrelevant.
The second I read was more or less an open demand for Obama to PROVE hes Christian by stopping the building of that Mosque, proving he isnt Muslim and for him to find a way to show Americans that hes Christian and not Muslim. I have a slew of issues with the whole article. 1) How does him stopping that build on PRIVATE PROPERTY prove anything outside of him caving to political/religious pressure? 2) Why does he have to prove a damn thing? I dont have to justify or prove my religious beliefs at all, why is it different for him and what business is it of anyones? Faith is a very personal thing and something that you have to choose on your own, not justify to a nation built & founded on the basis of FREEDOM, freedom of religion specifically for fucks sake, read a god damn history book. 3) What fucking difference does it make what religion he practices? He wasnt elected to the Presidency because of his religious affiliations, he was elected to do a job, and that job was not The Pope.
The one I read today wanted to know why Obama doesnt wear his religion on his sleeve. Why the hell should he? If that is how you choose to celebrate your faith more power to you, but just because he doesnt treat the Oval Office like a church pulpit doesnt negate his role as a leader or render him less effective in his job.
Honestly I dont care if you like him, if you voted for him or if you agree with what he has done thus far. As I stated in previous post, I dont think it matters who was elected last term - this was a shit sandwich of epic proportions and I feel he has handled it as admirably as possible given our polarized political climate, the complete lack of cooperation in our government and the almost total collapse of our economy. I challenge any of you to say you could do better given the hurdles that man faced the day he stepped into that office. I sure as fuck wouldnt have wanted that job and it irks the hell out of me to listen to arm-chair presidents think they can fix this. If it was possible to make it all better easily it would have been done by now. He sure as hell didnt make the mess but has been trying to clean it up and anyone who holds him totally responsible for the state of our nation is either naive or looking for a reason to hate him. Took decades to make this clusterfuck - gonna take just as long to get out and I dont think remaining open minded to change and maybe trying to support the COUNTRY is too much to ask and just may serve us better as a society instead of picking out demons and angels. All politicians suck. Period. Our local government proves this every day, and their political or religious affiliations dont change the level of suck.
That being said I think what truly bothers me, and bothers me a lot, is that the line between Church & State has become so blurred that discourse like what I have seen on Google is deemed ok. Its not. At all. I firmly believe in everyones ability and right to practice the faith of their choosing and not have to justify that faith to anyone. This country was founded by people who were run out of their homes for not agreeing with the religious mandates of their country's government, they came here so they could be free to worship as they believed and we built our governing rules on this principal. Since when are the only acceptable religious beliefs from that of Christianity? Since when did it become a crime to practice something other than Christianity? When did it become necessary to prove your Christianity in order to not be crucified on a national level if you are in a position of power? Never is the answer to all 3 of those questions. I understand that the majority of people in America do practice one form of Christianity or another...but that doesnt mean it is the ONLY acceptable option out there by any strech of the imagination.
I absolutely abhor the power of the Christian right in my government. I find it almost intolerable that laws are written to govern our society that are based on the puritanical views of a percentage of our population. It makes my skin crawl that there is enough money and power in the Christian Right to greatly effect the law making process of our country. Laws & Faith are 2 totally different things. Laws are based on morality, for sure, but there is far more to morals, right & wrong than just faith. Where did the separation of church & state go? In my opinion this is an area that needs reinforced & revisited.
Gay Marriage and abortion are the 2 hot topics off the top of my head that demonstrate this point most effectively. Opponents of both site biblical/faith reasons why neither should be allowed legally. Last time I checked we were governed by the Constitution, not the Bible, so how are these arguments relevant? God is not the president, we elect a human to do that. Laws should not be written that effect all based on the faith & beliefs of some.
For the record I think it is ridiculous gay marriage is even an issue that requires debate. Marriage is not a sacred covenant anymore. 50% divorce rate proves that more than anything else out there, not to mention its more of a legal issue than a religious one. If you are in a same sex relationship and your partner is lying in a hospital bed dying for whatever reason, as a partner you have no say so in the course of treatment or what happens because you are not recognized as a husband or wife or even a family member. Thats some bullshit. Me & Mister were together almost 10 years before we tied the knot. If something had happened to him and they even TRIED to keep me out of that room there would have been blood spilled, I dont care if we were married or not. So these people and groups will go out of their way to stop people who's relationships have ZERO effect on their own from getting married just because they can. Related - all those "God hates Fags" poster carriers I see pics of from their rallys - I disagree - God hates ignorant, mean and stupid people who can only communicate their points with vulgarity & offense. It amazes me that this is even a debate. Why shouldnt same sex couples have the right to get married and all the benefits that come with it and how is this anyone's business but their own? I can get married and divorced a bazillion times - doesnt that ruin the sanctity of marriage more than a gay couple getting married? I would think so.
And abortion I am absolutely Pro-Choice. I know that it isnt a decision I could ever make and one that thankfully for me (because my parents TAUGHT me about how to protect myself - thanks mom & dad) I have ever had to make...but I dont feel its right for the government to tell me that I can or cant have that as an option. There are far too many scenarios that I could see that being viable for someone else, and I feel that it should be their right to make that decision. Yes, it needs to be monitored & there has to be rules for having an abortion, it should never been deemed a method of birth control, but I feel its a personal decision that needs to be made by the people involved, not one that should be made by a politician or religious group on my behalf. Believe what you like and practice it until you die - but forcing other people to live their lives according to your beliefs is bullshit. If 50% of Americans hates broccoli are we going to outlaw it? No. So if 50% of the population hates the idea of gay marriage or abortion why do they get to stop it from happening? They shouldnt, they should just mind their own business and live their lives and leave others to do the same. Just because you have an opinion doesnt mean that the world needs to agree with it. Opinions & Laws are very very different.
It makes me sad and also worries me to see the involvement of the religious fanatics in our government. It makes me angry to hear those same people calling anyone out about extremist religions while being so blissfully unaware that they are just as bad. It makes me want to cry that they feel ok blindly passing judgment on other religious beliefs - like the Muslims - without ever bothering to learn more about their beliefs, practices or faith. It baffles me that they cant see the forest for the trees and realize that they are themselves religious terrorists on our own soil. The hipocracy makes my brain hurt. I know so many wonderful people that practice their Christianity and other faiths with a good heart, open mind and with love. I know those that get the press and make the most noise are the minority and the most vocal...but I really think they miss the point of having faith in the first place. Faith is not about forcing your beliefs on another person, its about acceptance, love, forgiveness and understanding...but I think someone must have torn that chapter out of their bibles, because that is def not what they practice regardless of what they preach.
Ok Im done. Well at least ranting about it here. I hope that in my life time I get to see this get better and get to see people start to see the light. Our system doesnt work. It needs adapted to accommodate the times, technology and cultural climate. I hope that we as a society can rise above all the petty bullshit slung across our media by a minority of jerkoffs and find the greater good. I hope we can stop being such sheep and make intelligent choices in the coming decades. I hope we can learn to respect each others opinions and learn to celebrate our differences. I hope...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Foodie BS on the Brain!!!
I stick my foot in my mouth alot. I cant really help it, although with age & maturity I have gotten slightly better. See my problem is I suck at and generally dont believe in sugar-coating things. Yes, there are times and places that warrant the use of my self editing program, but those occasions usually involve children or old people and thats about it. But overall, as anyone who has had the pleasure of dealing with me for any amount of time can vouch, I pretty much just call them like I see them and if you dont like it you can bite me. Ive told people for a long time - be careful what you ask, because I will answer, and you may not like what I have to say. On the plus side rarely am I told that people dont know where I stand or what I expect in any situation or the people involved in it and I consider that a plus. So my Twitter feed is littered with my personal brand of snark...and last night I was snarking about Chopped.
And as I am sure I have mentioned once or twice I am a chef....and my television viewing habits reflect as much. My recent DVR faves are Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, Chopped, Hells Kitchen & Master Chef. I LOVE seeing real cooks cooking for real, and all of those shows (some I will admit go a bit over the top with the editing for drama but thats not why I watch) are people who cook to pay the bills. I appreciate that. I cant stand watching the cooking shows, those people arent chefs, they may have been at some point, but they are now TV personalities that happen to cook. Mario Batali, Rachel Ray, Bobby Flay (who might I add NEVER wins on that goddamn Throwdown show and that is hysterical to me!), and the Satan of the Culinary World Emeril Lagasse - that man is just a tool bag - I do not watch any of their crap shows. I can see why they would be helpful to an average home cook, but not for me. But the reality show contest format ones - cant get enough.
So last night Mister was at work and I was catching up on some of my DVRs and was watching Chopped. Through the course of watching I had a couple of tweets about it...
WTF is with the arugula? I swear to god every damn episode I have watched each of the 4 competitors has a dish that includes "a nice arugula salad". Arugula is good, dont get me wrong, but it is not the be-all end-all of greens and has become so trite it annoys me to see it on a menu, any menu really.
I tweeted "Also Chopped related: Scott Conant can be such a pretentious prick. I'd love to see him try to do this w no technical flaws. Douche." So hes a good chef based out of New York that specializes in REAL Italian food...not Yinzer Italian. Scott is a successful restaurateur and accomplished chef, much respect from me on both counts. This doesnt change the fact that he tends to be a pretentious prick. He seems to think that 1) if seafood and cheese appear on the same plate you have just committed a crime against humanity and should be shot on sight, 2) that if you improperly cook pasta it is a personal attack against him and all things he holds near and dear to his heart and 3) that he is above reproach in taste, execution and skill - which I do not believe he is.
Geoffrey Zakarian is the only other judge who enrages me like Scott Conant does. I can at least respect Scott - Geoffrey on the other hand doesnt really appear to know what he is talking about 90% of the time and gets so condescending I dont know that I would be able to resist the urge to punch him in his little face if he Chopped me. Between the 2 of them though, when they are on the panel together, there tends to be ridiculous hyper-criticism & snark about finite details of the dishes and an overall attitude of they are better than you. Really? I challenge either of them to put there money where their mouths are and do Mystery Basket meals under such time constraints in front of a camera (most of the competitors for the first time EVER, mind you) without making ANY mistakes. I would bet they would crumble like saltines and weep like children. Takes balls to do what those competitors do and I dont know that either of them, regardless of their culinary pedigrees, could do any better. I think Tom Coliccho from Top Chef needs to have a lesson with the Chopped judges about constructive & blunt criticism. Tom is not nice, hes is very straight forward & will totally tell them if their food was crap or sub-par without flinching and he manages to do so without coming off as condescending, rude or arrogant - take notes Scott & Geoffrey! You dont have to be an asshole to make your point!
So this morning I open my Twitter and Scott apparently searches for himself because he re-tweeted by pretentious prick comment from last night. This made me laugh my ass off...at least he appears to have a sense of humor about himself and his dickish behavior. Hell I didnt even know he was on Twitter...so I followed him & asked him about the arugula thing...it really bugs me. Well that and they will bust on people for lack of creativity and never say a damn word about the cop out arugula salad ever. We shall see if he answers me...I kind of hope he does & I also hope that he really isnt as big of a dick as he comes across on that show.
Even if the judges annoy me I still will watch. I like to play along at home with the chefs competing and see what I would do with the Mystery Basket ingredients. But I do think that before any of the judges should be allowed to judge they should have to compete and see what kind of magic they can pull out of a basket...seems only fair that if you are going to sit at your chopping block and pass hard judgment on those competing that you yourself should have to be judged.
Completely unrelated - I think I have perfected the chocolate chip cookie recipe I have been tinkering with. I made the most perfect, soft, chewy, buttery cookies the other night. A year well spent tweaking that out until it was what I wanted the end product to be. I started with 5 recipes and then isolated what I liked and what I didnt from each and what caused those characteristics until I came up with my own. If you dig that style of choc chip cookie let me know and I may post the recipe. It couldnt be easier to make and seriously - so much better than any cookie you will buy!
Also mostly unrelated - Ive been making my own vanilla extract. I bake a lot and go through gallons a year. This gets pricey. Pure Vanilla Extract can run up to $50 a quart depending on quality. Personally I feel that the better extracts are worth the money - if its worth making its worth making as delicious as you can. So Mister did some research for me (seriously - hes better than the Googles, I kid you not) and we discovered extracts are wicked easy to make and rather inexpensive compared to what I buy. I accepted delivery on 1/2# of Madagascar Vanilla beans earlier this week and have set another bottle of vodka to turn into delicious vanilla extract. I put 12 split beans & 1 Tbsp of sugar into a middle of the road vodka (Smirnoff for example) and let it sit for a month. I top off with more vodka & refresh the beans as I need to and I have a perpetually refreshing vanilla in my liquor cupboard all the time. It genuinely makes a difference in the end product. The vanilla flavoring is more true, the aroma is divine and its so much better that I hope to never purchase vanilla again. Its also so easy anyone who bakes a lot should try it. I think I am going to attempt lemon & orange next...why not? I want to try other flavors too...any suggestions or requests?
Up next in Mindy's Kitchen Adventures - Mindy Learns to Can Shit - because I have enough tomatoes to feed an army and would like to save them. I attempted to can last year, but failed miserably due to technical errors. This year tomatoes, applesauce, apple butter and maybe peaches just because I can. No technical errors allowed...because this time Im going to read all of the instructions twice before I start...and just to be extra sure have Mister read them over too so I can blame him if it doesnt work :-)
And as I am sure I have mentioned once or twice I am a chef....and my television viewing habits reflect as much. My recent DVR faves are Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, Chopped, Hells Kitchen & Master Chef. I LOVE seeing real cooks cooking for real, and all of those shows (some I will admit go a bit over the top with the editing for drama but thats not why I watch) are people who cook to pay the bills. I appreciate that. I cant stand watching the cooking shows, those people arent chefs, they may have been at some point, but they are now TV personalities that happen to cook. Mario Batali, Rachel Ray, Bobby Flay (who might I add NEVER wins on that goddamn Throwdown show and that is hysterical to me!), and the Satan of the Culinary World Emeril Lagasse - that man is just a tool bag - I do not watch any of their crap shows. I can see why they would be helpful to an average home cook, but not for me. But the reality show contest format ones - cant get enough.
So last night Mister was at work and I was catching up on some of my DVRs and was watching Chopped. Through the course of watching I had a couple of tweets about it...
WTF is with the arugula? I swear to god every damn episode I have watched each of the 4 competitors has a dish that includes "a nice arugula salad". Arugula is good, dont get me wrong, but it is not the be-all end-all of greens and has become so trite it annoys me to see it on a menu, any menu really.
I tweeted "Also Chopped related: Scott Conant can be such a pretentious prick. I'd love to see him try to do this w no technical flaws. Douche." So hes a good chef based out of New York that specializes in REAL Italian food...not Yinzer Italian. Scott is a successful restaurateur and accomplished chef, much respect from me on both counts. This doesnt change the fact that he tends to be a pretentious prick. He seems to think that 1) if seafood and cheese appear on the same plate you have just committed a crime against humanity and should be shot on sight, 2) that if you improperly cook pasta it is a personal attack against him and all things he holds near and dear to his heart and 3) that he is above reproach in taste, execution and skill - which I do not believe he is.
Geoffrey Zakarian is the only other judge who enrages me like Scott Conant does. I can at least respect Scott - Geoffrey on the other hand doesnt really appear to know what he is talking about 90% of the time and gets so condescending I dont know that I would be able to resist the urge to punch him in his little face if he Chopped me. Between the 2 of them though, when they are on the panel together, there tends to be ridiculous hyper-criticism & snark about finite details of the dishes and an overall attitude of they are better than you. Really? I challenge either of them to put there money where their mouths are and do Mystery Basket meals under such time constraints in front of a camera (most of the competitors for the first time EVER, mind you) without making ANY mistakes. I would bet they would crumble like saltines and weep like children. Takes balls to do what those competitors do and I dont know that either of them, regardless of their culinary pedigrees, could do any better. I think Tom Coliccho from Top Chef needs to have a lesson with the Chopped judges about constructive & blunt criticism. Tom is not nice, hes is very straight forward & will totally tell them if their food was crap or sub-par without flinching and he manages to do so without coming off as condescending, rude or arrogant - take notes Scott & Geoffrey! You dont have to be an asshole to make your point!
So this morning I open my Twitter and Scott apparently searches for himself because he re-tweeted by pretentious prick comment from last night. This made me laugh my ass off...at least he appears to have a sense of humor about himself and his dickish behavior. Hell I didnt even know he was on Twitter...so I followed him & asked him about the arugula thing...it really bugs me. Well that and they will bust on people for lack of creativity and never say a damn word about the cop out arugula salad ever. We shall see if he answers me...I kind of hope he does & I also hope that he really isnt as big of a dick as he comes across on that show.
Even if the judges annoy me I still will watch. I like to play along at home with the chefs competing and see what I would do with the Mystery Basket ingredients. But I do think that before any of the judges should be allowed to judge they should have to compete and see what kind of magic they can pull out of a basket...seems only fair that if you are going to sit at your chopping block and pass hard judgment on those competing that you yourself should have to be judged.
Completely unrelated - I think I have perfected the chocolate chip cookie recipe I have been tinkering with. I made the most perfect, soft, chewy, buttery cookies the other night. A year well spent tweaking that out until it was what I wanted the end product to be. I started with 5 recipes and then isolated what I liked and what I didnt from each and what caused those characteristics until I came up with my own. If you dig that style of choc chip cookie let me know and I may post the recipe. It couldnt be easier to make and seriously - so much better than any cookie you will buy!
Also mostly unrelated - Ive been making my own vanilla extract. I bake a lot and go through gallons a year. This gets pricey. Pure Vanilla Extract can run up to $50 a quart depending on quality. Personally I feel that the better extracts are worth the money - if its worth making its worth making as delicious as you can. So Mister did some research for me (seriously - hes better than the Googles, I kid you not) and we discovered extracts are wicked easy to make and rather inexpensive compared to what I buy. I accepted delivery on 1/2# of Madagascar Vanilla beans earlier this week and have set another bottle of vodka to turn into delicious vanilla extract. I put 12 split beans & 1 Tbsp of sugar into a middle of the road vodka (Smirnoff for example) and let it sit for a month. I top off with more vodka & refresh the beans as I need to and I have a perpetually refreshing vanilla in my liquor cupboard all the time. It genuinely makes a difference in the end product. The vanilla flavoring is more true, the aroma is divine and its so much better that I hope to never purchase vanilla again. Its also so easy anyone who bakes a lot should try it. I think I am going to attempt lemon & orange next...why not? I want to try other flavors too...any suggestions or requests?
Up next in Mindy's Kitchen Adventures - Mindy Learns to Can Shit - because I have enough tomatoes to feed an army and would like to save them. I attempted to can last year, but failed miserably due to technical errors. This year tomatoes, applesauce, apple butter and maybe peaches just because I can. No technical errors allowed...because this time Im going to read all of the instructions twice before I start...and just to be extra sure have Mister read them over too so I can blame him if it doesnt work :-)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Failbooking...an irritating adventure in socail media.
I resisted Facebook for a couple years. Mister had an account and I knew OF Facebook, but had no genuine interest in being sought out or found by anyone and kind of felt that if I was meant to keep in touch with ghosts from the past I would have. Well that worked for a couple years, and then I caved. My excuse for caving was family. Mister's entire family lives out of state and I am shitty at keeping in touch if it involves the telephone and where as I am pretty good about replying to emails I pretty much suck at sending them, and I missed them. Me & the Mister have been a pair since way back in the high school days...his parents and sisters are just like my own (we have both known each others sister for more than HALF their lives. Fuck we're old!) and long story short I liked being able to keep in touch relatively effortlessly and stay up to date on the daily comings and goings...
Well it didnt take long and I was found by a ton of old high school & college friends, random people I had worked with, and just folks I had fallen out of touch with as we grew up and became "adults", just like happens to everyone Im sure. And I dug it. For awhile. It still makes me smile that I get to interact with so many people that I would not otherwise, I have rekindled friendships that I value and didnt know that I missed and have even got sucked into a couple of those stupid games for a bit before I realized that the HUGE time suck they became was detrimental to...well living. Well that and I got bored with it honestly. It would be nice if people only updated their status with clever and witty things as opposed to a running diatribe of their mundane existence...or even worse - what Jane Pitt so succinctly summed up in a status update of her own this morning - VAGUEbooking. This is the art of putting up a highly dramatic yet completely uninformative status update (like OMFG why does this shit happen to me?!?!?) basically pandering for people to fawn over what could possible be wrong with you so that you can just not tell them - if you are one of those people I have probably blocked you - because that shits ANNOYING. If its a big enough deal to make the effort to type an update just SAY it for fucks sake...but I digress.
So last night before bed I was surfing the interwebs and popped into FB for a quick visit and saw an update that irritated me. Not because the updater was wrong...but because they were just plain dumb. Doesnt matter what the update was, but it sincerely made me want to comment on the drivel, and I opted not, mainly because I really do not care if the judgmental prick lives the rest of his life alone - and I hid him instead. He can be blissfully unaware of his own hypocrisy without having to bother me about it.
I hopped on my trusty MAC this morning to check emails and such before I left work and cruised FB. And then I got irritated.....
Will i delete my account? Probably not, I really do like keeping in touch with my family.
Should I delete it just to save myself the aggravation? Oh yeah definitely.
Well it didnt take long and I was found by a ton of old high school & college friends, random people I had worked with, and just folks I had fallen out of touch with as we grew up and became "adults", just like happens to everyone Im sure. And I dug it. For awhile. It still makes me smile that I get to interact with so many people that I would not otherwise, I have rekindled friendships that I value and didnt know that I missed and have even got sucked into a couple of those stupid games for a bit before I realized that the HUGE time suck they became was detrimental to...well living. Well that and I got bored with it honestly. It would be nice if people only updated their status with clever and witty things as opposed to a running diatribe of their mundane existence...or even worse - what Jane Pitt so succinctly summed up in a status update of her own this morning - VAGUEbooking. This is the art of putting up a highly dramatic yet completely uninformative status update (like OMFG why does this shit happen to me?!?!?) basically pandering for people to fawn over what could possible be wrong with you so that you can just not tell them - if you are one of those people I have probably blocked you - because that shits ANNOYING. If its a big enough deal to make the effort to type an update just SAY it for fucks sake...but I digress.
So last night before bed I was surfing the interwebs and popped into FB for a quick visit and saw an update that irritated me. Not because the updater was wrong...but because they were just plain dumb. Doesnt matter what the update was, but it sincerely made me want to comment on the drivel, and I opted not, mainly because I really do not care if the judgmental prick lives the rest of his life alone - and I hid him instead. He can be blissfully unaware of his own hypocrisy without having to bother me about it.
I hopped on my trusty MAC this morning to check emails and such before I left work and cruised FB. And then I got irritated.....
- In my feed this morning I see an updating asking people to stop using curse words in their status updates and lets all try to keep FB nice and clean. Not an unreasonable request really, but brought to mind this question - Why is it ok to ask people not to curse or use offensive language in THEIR status updates? This same individual is a Born Again Christian - and litters her feed with it. I find that offensive, ok well maybe not offensive - but definitely irritating. I respect anyone's belief and faith, but I do not want it rammed down my throat in status updates. I deal with your religious zealotry without commenting, you can deal with a few curse words in status updates without feeling the need to police it. Free speech bitches! Respect it! And a big fat KABLOCK for that one....it was a recent friending and obviously a poor choice.
- There should be rules to being allowed to post anything political on there. 1) you have to actually read, from more than one source, information about the topic you plan to preach about and Fox News is NOT allowed to be a sited source. 2) You must be able to participate in a discourse about your rant, if and when that happens, without resorting to name calling and finger pointing - you do your point no justice when you cant defend it intelligently. 3) You must be able to acknowledge that it took decades of BS government to get us here and holding any single one individual (esp the one we are currently beating the shit out for not being able to wave his magic wand and fix it as quick as wed like him to) responsible is complete and utter BULLSHIT. That is just reality and fact. All political opinions aside - the poor chump that got elected last time, regardless of their political affiliation, was going to be handed the biggest shit sandwich ever created and to expect anyone to solve decades of abuse, misuse and poor decision making in 4 years is just plain fucking stupid, I dont care what you believe in. If you dont meet the above criteria keep your damn mouth shut, all youre doing is embarrassing yourself and pissing me off.
- And this is a very recent annoyance...but it seems my feed is littered with people that are so sick to death of their children and they just cant wait to send them back to school. Seriously. You decided to birth them, this school schedule thing is no surprise, been this way forever...shut up already. The same things happens at every long school break. Honestly I cant imagine I am the only one who doesnt want to hear about your little terrorists driving you nuts. Now if the story of them driving you nuts is funny - the PLEASE share - kids funny stories are awesome...but if your only intent is to whine about your choice to reproduce or inability to entertain your kids for 2.5 months - hush up & consult the Googles - there a bazillion cheap & easy things to do with kids out there...get off FB and go do some of them. Maybe your kids are obnoxious because they want some attention or to go outside and play.
- STOP FUCKING WHINING ALREADY!!! Some folks do it via vaguebooking, some are a hell of a lot more detailed than others and maybe I just have a large section of rabid miserable FB users in my friend list but holy shit these have got to be the most unhappy, unsatisfied and miserable humans on the planet. They NEVER have a positive thing to say and are just gigantic steaming piles of bitter negativity. My suggestion - spend less time whining & posting about the awfulness that is your existence and go out and DO something about it. Make a difference, change it up, find something that makes you smile, go get ice cream...whatever it takes...but FIND a glimmer of happy somewhere. And if you cant or wont, call a friend who can actually help you, dont put a faceless plea on FB, it doesnt come across as sincere, its comes across as whiny and pathetic. Call me cold, but if was ever in dire need of something, anything really...the last fucking place I would ask for help is on FB. Thats what REAL people are for.
Will i delete my account? Probably not, I really do like keeping in touch with my family.
Should I delete it just to save myself the aggravation? Oh yeah definitely.
Monday, August 9, 2010
A Post Inspired by Burghbaby
So I read Burghbaby's blog post from last night and had a good laugh at her retelling of her car vs. biker experience in NYC. Yes...I know that it would have been much less funny had it been my car or me sitting in it...and I wasnt laughing at the poor guy who got clothes lined - seriously if you didnt click the link up there go now...I'll wait..................ok so maybe I was totally laughing at the guy who got clothes lined. Ill own it. I have a twisted sense of humor and I find it extra funny when I see people doing just outright stupid things that FORCE karma to kick them in the proverbial balls. Im not saying its right, but its me. In my defense I do a TON of shit that makes karma kick me...and I laugh at myself too...so I think thats fair.
Ok so back to my point...
Bughbaby twittered her blog post today, and I commented to her that I found it hysterical...and though a little back & forth i totally remembered....
{This is the part that reminded me of Burghbaby's post}
Ok so back to my point...
Bughbaby twittered her blog post today, and I commented to her that I found it hysterical...and though a little back & forth i totally remembered....
GERMAN ARMY HELMET GUY!!!
Yeah that pic was the closest I could find to what this guy was wearing....now to the tale.
Me & Mister were in his Ford Ranger on a holiday weekend before noon- it was Labor or Memorial Day - at the red light at the intersection of Rt 50 & Carothers Ave (near Flynns EW Tire in Scott), we were heading into Heidelberg (and no I have no idea if it is north or south or whatever - i give directions via landmarks like everyone should!). We had the red light and were just sitting there in the right lane minding our own business. Anyone who is familiar with this intersection knows that the people making the lefts onto Carothers and onto Hope Hollow (or some other name that sounds like that) get the right of way for turning - seriously its like 1 out of 100 times there wont be someone turning there - so they got their green light and we watched them all make their turns and hurry off on their way to great fun I am sure. Our light turns green. So Mister proceeds to drive...cuz thats what you are supposed to do when your traffic signal turns green....
And this is where things went horribly wrong.
There was a guy driving up Rt 50 heading toward Carnegie and moving into the turning lane to make the left onto Corothers. He was on a Harley or some other monster bike of that variety. I noticed him for a couple reasons - 1) He was wearing a German Army Helmet complete with spike on the top and 2) He WASNT SLOWING DOWN. Mister noticed both of these things around the same time I did.
So we both make some kind of aaaAAAhhHHH!! noises at each other because HOLY SHIT THAT GUY WITH THE SPIKE HELMET IS TOTALLY GOING TO HIT THE TRUCK!!!! takes far too long to say when you're panicking and GGGAAAAHHHH!!! - where not as good at communicating a specific thought does effectively let your partner in crime know something is amiss....
{This is the part that reminded me of Burghbaby's post}
In exceptional slow motion I see Mister start to stop abruptly, I see Army Helmet just continue to drive without slowing at all to make his left. I see Army Helmet not even look at the light at all and continue through the intersection. I said OH FUCK! and Mister was quiet. I am now LOOKING at Army Helmet - willing him to look up, swerve, stop ANYTHING to stop him from HITTING THE LIFTED, GIGANTICALLY TIRED, BRIGHT RED, FORD RANGER WITH AN ELECTRIC BLUE CAP (yeah totally hot I know...) that I am sitting in.
FAIL
He gets into the lane next to us before he even saw the truck. I was looking dead at him and saw that second of jesusfuckingchristiamgoingotnailthistruck panic as it ran across his face and it was too late to do anything except lay the bike down to avoid a collision...which he didnt.
Instead he drove at about 25mph right into the front drivers side wheel of the truck. Like I said - it was lifted with custom tires on it so it was HUGE and he hit the rim & tire HARD. So one second he was there and the next he sprawled out on Rt 50.
Mister looks at me and says "WTF?!?! Did that guy just drive into my truck?!?!?!"
I said "Yeah"
Mister then leans out the window like he was getting ready to order a burger and says to the man now lying in the road "Hey man, you ok?" in this casual could you please pass me the sale tone and i see this man pull himself up on the rear view mirror of the truck with that STUPID spike helmet on looking totally bewildered and somewhat woozy and say "I think". Personally I will NEVER loose the image of a very confused & shaken up mid 40s biker wearing a spike helmet pulling himself into my view through the window looking like the truck just magically appeared in the road...
From there it got ridiculous. I was very thankful there were a lot of people around to witness what happened because the jerkoff then tried to tell us & the cop that we blew the red light....that we had been sitting at for 2 or 3 minutes prior to it turning green & that it was somehow, someway our fault.
I def got angry...but then this crazy woman (bless her heart for being crazy might I add) gets out of her car and begins to tell the cops with amazing color commentary detail about how this idiot was driving like an asshole, wasnt paying attention, blew that red light and drove into that truck!!! (for the record my way was much faster - in true Yinzer fashion she was making a full production out of the retelling of the tale in her house dress in the middle of the street). In short I loved this woman for her insanity & willingness to share it with us all - made things much easier as far as police reports & insurance BS was concerned.
It was a pain in the ass, but thankfully no one was hurt except the bike & the truck. The truck was retired from service not long after it was repaired from this accident, which was a shame, I kind of miss having a truck to be honest.
somewhat ironic - we both had the same insurance company and they STILL fought over who was at fault for a couple weeks. Car wrecks are a huge pain in the ass and insurance doesnt make it any easier.
Hey Burghbaby thanks for inspiring me to tell a story - its been awhile since I have last blogged. It really isnt for lack of things to say, but more lack of time to get them out of my head.
Happy Summer!!!
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