A Post Inspired by Burghbaby

So I read Burghbaby's blog post from last night and had a good laugh at her retelling of her car vs. biker experience in NYC. Yes...I know that it would have been much less funny had it been my car or me sitting in it...and I wasnt laughing at the poor guy who got clothes lined - seriously if you didnt click the link up there go now...I'll wait..................ok so maybe I was totally laughing at the guy who got clothes lined. Ill own it. I have a twisted sense of humor and I find it extra funny when I see people doing just outright stupid things that FORCE karma to kick them in the proverbial balls. Im not saying its right, but its me. In my defense I do a TON of shit that makes karma kick me...and I laugh at myself too...so I think thats fair.


Ok so back to my point...


Bughbaby twittered her blog post today, and I commented to her that I found it hysterical...and though a little back & forth i totally remembered....

GERMAN ARMY HELMET GUY!!!

Yeah that pic was the closest I could find to what this guy was wearing....now to the tale.

Me & Mister were in his Ford Ranger on a holiday weekend before noon- it was Labor or Memorial Day - at the red light at the intersection of Rt 50 & Carothers Ave (near Flynns EW Tire in Scott), we were heading into Heidelberg (and no I have no idea if it is north or south or whatever - i give directions via landmarks like everyone should!). We had the red light and were just sitting there in the right lane minding our own business.  Anyone who is familiar with this intersection knows that the people making the lefts onto Carothers and onto Hope Hollow (or some other name that sounds like that) get the right of way for turning - seriously its like 1 out of 100 times there wont be someone turning there - so they got their green light and we watched them all make their turns and hurry off on their way to great fun I am sure. Our light turns green. So Mister proceeds to drive...cuz thats what you are supposed to do when your traffic signal turns green....

And this is where things went horribly wrong.

There was a guy driving up Rt 50 heading toward Carnegie and moving into the turning lane to make the left onto Corothers. He was on a Harley or some other monster bike of that variety. I noticed him for a couple reasons - 1) He was wearing a German Army Helmet complete with spike on the top and 2) He WASNT SLOWING DOWN. Mister noticed both of these things around the same time I did.

So we both make some kind of aaaAAAhhHHH!! noises at each other because HOLY SHIT THAT GUY WITH THE SPIKE HELMET IS TOTALLY GOING TO HIT THE TRUCK!!!! takes far too long to say when you're panicking and GGGAAAAHHHH!!! - where not as good at communicating a specific thought does effectively let your partner in crime know something is amiss....

{This is the part that reminded me of Burghbaby's post}

In exceptional slow motion I see Mister start to stop abruptly, I see Army Helmet just continue to drive without slowing at all to make his left. I see Army Helmet not even look at the light at all and continue through the intersection. I said OH FUCK! and Mister was quiet. I am now LOOKING at Army Helmet - willing him to look up, swerve, stop ANYTHING to stop him from HITTING THE LIFTED, GIGANTICALLY TIRED,  BRIGHT RED, FORD RANGER WITH AN ELECTRIC BLUE CAP (yeah totally hot I know...) that I am sitting in. 

FAIL

He gets into the lane next to us before he even saw the truck. I was looking dead at him and saw that second of jesusfuckingchristiamgoingotnailthistruck panic as it ran across his face and it was too late to do anything except lay the bike down to avoid a collision...which he didnt. 

Instead he drove at about 25mph right into the front drivers side wheel of the truck. Like I said - it was lifted with custom tires on it so it was HUGE and he hit the rim & tire HARD. So one second he was there and the next he sprawled out on Rt 50. 

Mister looks at me and says "WTF?!?! Did that guy just drive into my truck?!?!?!"

I said "Yeah"

Mister then leans out the window like he was getting ready to order a burger and says to the man now lying in the road "Hey man, you ok?" in this casual could you please pass me the sale tone and i see this man pull himself up on the rear view mirror of the truck with that STUPID spike helmet on looking totally bewildered and somewhat woozy and say "I think". Personally I will NEVER loose the image of a very confused & shaken up mid 40s biker wearing a spike helmet pulling himself into my view through the window looking like the truck just magically appeared in the road...

From there it got ridiculous. I was very thankful there were a lot of people around to witness what happened because the jerkoff then tried to tell us & the cop that we blew the red light....that we had been sitting at for 2 or 3 minutes prior to it turning green & that it was somehow, someway our fault. 

I def got angry...but then this crazy woman (bless her heart for being crazy might I add) gets out of her car and begins to tell the cops with amazing color commentary detail about how this idiot was driving like an asshole, wasnt paying attention, blew that red light and drove into that truck!!! (for the record my way was much faster - in true Yinzer fashion she was making a full production out of the retelling of the tale in her house dress in the middle of the street). In short I loved this woman for her insanity & willingness to share it with us all - made things much easier as far as police reports & insurance BS was concerned.  

It was a pain in the ass, but thankfully no one was hurt except the bike & the truck. The truck was retired from service not long after it was repaired from this accident, which was a shame, I kind of miss having a truck to be honest.

somewhat ironic - we both had the same insurance company and they STILL fought over who was at fault for a couple weeks. Car wrecks are a huge pain in the ass and insurance doesnt make it any easier.

Hey Burghbaby thanks for inspiring me to tell a story - its been awhile since I have last blogged. It really isnt for lack of things to say, but more lack of time to get them out of my head.

Happy Summer!!!